My coming out story

I first came out to my oldest and best friend on January 14, 2018. He lives in another state and I was there for a visit. I'd wanted to tell him for a year or two on earlier visits but I lost my nerve whenever the opportunity up. This time, I texted him beforehand that I wanted to talk to him one-on-one so I couldn't chicken out. I've known him since junior high, which was over 50 years ago! (yes, I'm that old!) It went well, he was surprised but totally supportive. His surprise surprised me, as I figured he'd guessed I was gay, seeing as the two of us had engaged in a little gay sex (hand jobs) a number of times when we were in our 20's (he's straight and this really wasn't his thing, which is another story).

I have two other close straight male friends, and we were all getting together on this visit. I didn't think I'd have any one-on-one time with the others, but unexpectedly I did get the chance to tell them all separately (plus two of my friends' wives). Everyone was great, surprised but supportive. I'm very lucky because I didn't and don't fear a negative reaction from anyone close enough to tell in person.

A couple of funny stories. I told one of my friend's wives I had something to tell her, and she replied, "What, are you gay?" I hesitated and said, "Yes!" She said, I was just joking! But she was super accepting and supportive.

My other two male friends had known each other longer (since junior high, I think) than I'd known them. I told each of them (separately) that I had fooled around with another boy when I was very young (probably around 12), and each of them said they had too! (I guess this isn't that uncommon.) I was really curious if they had been with each other, but figured that wasn't appropriate to ask!

Since then, I've come out to one of my two sisters, who lives nearby. My other sister will be here for a visit in April and I'll tell her then. Just today I told a friend from work (we're both retired now) who I occasionally meet for lunch. That only leaves two people I want to tell in person, my mother and another old friend from work who lives out-of-state. My mother is the only one I'm not 100% sure of telling. I'll discuss it with my sisters but I'm leaning very strongly towards telling her. It will answer a lot of questions I know she must have about me.

For me, coming out was the easy part. Now it gets difficult. I'm inexperienced in dating or intimate relationships of any kind, which I think resulted more from my insecurities than from confusion about my sexuality. In a few days I'll have my first therapy appointment, and then my first meeting of a discussion group for gays coming out late. Wish me luck!