My boyfriend found my lesbian porn secret folder...

Sorry about your ordeal but since when not posting anything on facebook means he doesn't care? Maybe you haven't met the right person yet but quite bluntly, you aren't ready for a monogamous relationship. Maybe an open relationship or friends with benefits is up your alley.

 

As of now, explore your sexuality. If you actually are bi, don't be one of those who comes up with excuses to cheat on whom ever you are with, with the other sex.

 

You're off to uni in summer? That'd be your chance to start fresh.

You clearly want to be with a girl, but have you thought about coming out? Like is it a "I'm not ready to do that" sort of thing or a "I'm wanting to do that soon" sort of thing?

It's mainly because of the practicality. Being with a girl whilst being in the closet is significantly more difficult than being out.

 

Well the world after high school is different. Like the things that make you popular or geeky in high school lessens dramatically. People grow up, would be the best way of describing it, so you don't have to worry about college being the same as high school because it wont.

And I wouldn't worry about other people seeing you "fall". You're basically worrying about your image on other people, but nobodies perfect, and coming out wont be you "falling". Your life is more important than their views.

As for your parents, your situation and your brothers is different. Have you tested lgbt matters with your parents? Like judged their reaction on certain lesbians?

 

Thats not right ,ur brother i think he made a mistake not taking precautions but i think what he needs to do is marry the girl and raise the baby correctly thats what id suggest and ur not wrong in liking girls yknow ur not

 

Hmm well Catholic parents is a problem. Still though, their kids should be more important than their image. I don't think they'll stop loving you, that just doesn't seem human for people that raised you. It's a complex situation, but you shouldn't decide against coming out just because of them, like I said before your life is more important than anyones views.

If you're worried about attracting the wrong group of friends then you can do something to stop that.

For example there was a boy in my year, he was sporty and popular and was the "alpha male" during primary school and in his group in high school. Thing was, he was also a massive dick to people. He was arrogant and would generally be abusive to people he didn't know, for no reason. He died in a car crash at 17 and I remember being shocked, but apart from his close friends everyone I spoke to didn't seem to care. People just told me he was a dick and they're not going to miss him. That made me realise that, if I died tomorrow, I don't want to be remembered like that.

So the point is you seem to be worried about being mean to people and peoples views on you because of that. Well you can change that, you can effectively reinvent yourself when you go to uni. If you think you're going to do something mean, don't do it.

 

Eh you can be pretty and not mean. Plus like I said things will be different, the social groups that are created in school wont be the same because everyones progressing into adulthood. It's hard to explain really, just don't expect it to be the same as high school because it wont. The things that are important in the social structure of school mean almost nothing in real life. If you feel like you're going to be really mean, just hold yourself back.

Coming out to an ex can be awkward, I did, but oh well at least he'd know the real reason you broke up.

As for your parents, you made it sound like your mum would be more understanding than your dad? Whatever the case I'm not sure how to help you there. If your parents are really like that then, to be frank, you're better than them.

 

Well like I said, you life is more important than your parents views.

But what about your brother? How would he take it?

I wouldn't worry about no one talking to you. In uni you make friends differently, like everyone is in the same "meeting new people, making new friends" boat, so it's easier than being say the new kid at school. Have you ever travelled to a city to stay with a friend for example and you make friends with their friends in one night and get along easily? It's like that at uni. I went to stay with my friend at uni for his birthday but he had swine flu and was bed ridden for 2 days, so I hung out with his flatmates and even went to the cinema with 3 of them despite only knowing them for a day. So yeah, you shouldn't worry about it being the same as high school, it's different and will be a chance for a fresh start.