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My Best Friend... Is he Gay? Bi? (Also if you like LONG stories come here ;) )

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by TobyB, Nov 2, 2012.

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  1. TobyB

    TobyB Guest

    I'm a mature 14 year old and I'm posting this because I don't know what i have between me and my best friend..Henry.. hopefully I should find out from him soon... :slight_smile:

    This week I went to visit my friend from Monday afternoon Until Thursday afternoon at his house (We have a long distance friendship, around 200 miles...) When we first met for the first time in a long time, we were embarrassed and a bit shy around each other but it got better in the car Journey back to his house. At his house we stayed upstairs most of the time... that night he slept on his brothers bunk bed, I slept in his room, on his bed.

    The next day we went out... We took some food to the farm fields he lived nearby... we had a lot of fun and were chased by cows on two occasions.... Before we entered the woods we were aiming for, he decided to stop for a rest. I lay down on some concrete... he placed his bag down and asked me to rest my head on it... I did so... He then, without hesitation, rested his head on the bag against mine... because we were exhausted we didn't speak until we both got up. We reached the woods and because of the cold wet weather his feet got cold, he took his shoes and socks off as there was a towel in his bag which he used to dry his feet. (Lucky for me, I have a foot fetish and his feet are amazing... Just saying :slight_smile: ) He took the towel out and placed his feet on them... he started rubbing them dry...

    On the way back we started play fighting, he pinned me down in the mud twice and wouldn't let go... hehe :icon_wink Any way after that we got back and this is where things got interesting...

    At his house, this was around 4:30PM we were both exhausted... He claimed that his back hurt... I said "OK, You alright?" He replied " Yeah, Hurts a lot though".... About 2 mins of silent laying on his bed... He remarked "Massage my back for me...." I couldn't deny it.... I sat there for about 15 minutes speaking softly and rubbing the lower arch of his back... He said it felt weird with his shirt.... So to see how he would react, I pulled his shirt up and off.... He just let me?!:icon_bigg Anyway... He then.... AMAZINGLY for me... Said "Ever heard of reflexology?" I replied "No?" not knowing what it was... then the 4 words I had wished to come out of his mouth forever were: "Its a foot Massage" He just lifted his foot up onto my leg and looked me in the eye and raised an eyebrow... For the rest of the time before dinner (about half an hour) I sat there massaging his feet...

    Later that night we were supposed to do the same as before (He sleeps on his bro's bunk, I sleep on his bed) He said he didn't want to... I suggested a sleeping bag.... He just said "No I'll sleep in the bed with you..." (we slept opposite sides (Top and tail) ) Because it was a double bed he slept on one side, I slept on the other.
    Overnight, I woke up at around 3am... Henry had moved a bit closer to me and he had even moved his pillow to my end of the bed... I noticed but just fell back to sleep.
    Again at around 5am now.. I was woken by a sneeze, Henry's. As i lifted my head i saw his head drop down back to bed level. Then I immediately noticed he had moved his legs closer to me and his feet were further UP the bed... Closer to my head (remember he is on the end of the bed at my feet and I'm at his) He then stretched out and pushed his feet into my face ( I enjoyed this of course )He left them there even though he had to reach out to be able to reach my face.... I couldn't fall back to sleep so i just stayed awake until he "Woke up" at 7am.

    The next day, at any opportunity he can get, he will lift his foot up and shake it around... Grab my hand and place it on his foot then just look at me with a smiling face, winking.
    OR he will turn around and pull his shirt tight.... or off... :icon_wink and simply say " Massage my back " or "Massage my shoulders, I like it" So all day i was either behind him massaging his back/shoulders OR he had his feet on my legs... He also casually asked on THREE occasions "You like my feet dont you" I just reply "Yes" and we both look into each others eyes and smile :slight_smile:
    (That night he pulled the exact same 'Move closer to me' trick and pushed his feet into my mouth!)

    The last day of my visit... I packed my things early morning and he asked for massages every time i stopped doing it :icon_bigg Just like the day before....

    In the car journey home He opened up the middle seat (In the back) And told me to massage his feet...with his dad driving! AWKWARD!! Luckily we weren't spotted as I massaged his feet for the last hour I would see him for... I now have to wait 3 months to see him again! :tears: (We still chat on Skype 24/7 and through our blackberry phones when we go out...)

    We just gave a tearful goodbye and Drove opposite ways :frowning2: (My dad picked me up half way along the journey to cut it short)

    So.... Sorry about the VERY long story about my week with this Amazing boy...

    What do you think?
    Gay?
    Bi?
    Confused/Questioning? (he has claimed to me before that Hes not)
    Not at all?


    Extra Info!!!:
    - I've told him I'm gay once before.. about 2 before I went to see him this week.
    - I've told him that I love him.. He says: " I dont think you love me "
    Should I prove it? (I said I loved him emotionally but I didn't have the courage say I love him physically)
    - When we play fight, He tries to grab my balls! :eek: (And has done on multiple occasions)
    - He says and I quote " I would do anything for you... except kill someone obviously... hehe "
    - I DO love him.... And I dont want to do anything stupid to loose someone like him... I'll never find anyone like this again....




    Final thing: I don't want to be treated like a kid because I'm Fourteen. :slight_smile:
     
    #1 TobyB, Nov 2, 2012
  2. TobyB

    TobyB Guest

    Any views will help alot :wink: kinda confused right now!!
     
    #2 TobyB, Nov 2, 2012
  3. Lance

    Lance
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    I don't really think he seems very gay, more like he knows you like him(and maybe his feet too, lol) and is using that to his advantage. You guys sound like regular young teen guys that are just a bit playful & curious.

    Now if he did like you as more than a friend, how exactly would you make anything work? You live very far apart and don't see eachother very often and you guys are very young without your own car(s). It kind of sounds like your feelings for him might be making things out to be a bit more than what they really are since I know you'd like for him to feel the same.
     
    #3 Lance, Nov 2, 2012
  4. TobyB

    TobyB Guest

    Ok, I can understand... If anyone can give me anymore advice, I'll be extremely grateful! :wink:
     
    #4 TobyB, Nov 3, 2012
  5. kageshiro

    kageshiro Guest

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    If he were gay and into you, and comfortable with his feelings while at the same time realizing that you like him too, I don't understand why he wouldn't just tell you at this point. I mean if he's fine with letting you touch and massage him, and you've even told him you are gay and that you love him... then he has more than enough reason right now to come out about anything he might feel back for you. I'll have to agree with Lance that he probably just likes the unique sort of attention you're giving him. It's a possibility he's curious about and experimenting with his sexual response, but only time will tell for sure. At any rate your friendship seems incredibly close; moreso than any I've ever experienced myself. Sounds seriously worth treasuring and maintaining even if it turns out he doesn't share what you feel for him now. I would say to continue to do all you can to keep in contact with Henry and find out more and more about him. As your friendship continues to grow naturally there's no telling what else might come of it in the end.
     
    #5 kageshiro, Nov 3, 2012
  6. MagicMadman

    MagicMadman
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    Seems like your just really good friends! You got a choice:

    a) Say thay you love him and you mean it and you want to spend the rest of you life with him - Could make or break your fendship

    OR

    b)say nothing and stay really good friends and when he's touching your balls or making you massage his feet then just like it while it lasts
     
    #6 MagicMadman, Nov 3, 2012
  7. TobyB

    TobyB Guest

    He has said to me that he would love to live with me when we're older... and he has also said that nothing can break our friendship and that he would do anything for me...

    I think I will stay at Option B now... then see what happens as we start to see each other more often... :slight_smile:

    Its great seeing what all you guys think! Thankyou! <3
     
    #7 TobyB, Nov 3, 2012
  8. TobyB

    TobyB Guest

    Quick update... I'm on Skype and he says he misses me... I might try and bring up the subject again and ask why he misses me so much and why he thinks I miss him so much (Henry already knows i miss him.. I've told him) :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #8 TobyB, Nov 3, 2012
  9. The Queen Bee

    The Queen Bee
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    This is interesting.
    I agree with the fact that he likes the attention... Nonetheless I do believe he likes it a bit too much.
    He might be bi-is... or you're making him question or whatever.

    Have you noticed if he stares at you when he thinks you don't see him??
     
    #9 The Queen Bee, Nov 3, 2012
  10. TobyB

    TobyB Guest

    We do have moments where we will stare at each other seriously for around 30 seconds... Complete eye contact and no speaking.... Until one of us smiles and we laugh it off... :slight_smile: I quite like it :wink:

    And yeah there are times where he'll stare at me for no reason... We were watching a film and he just looked at me... didn't move for like 10 seconds.... I saw it in the corner of my eye..hehe
     
    #10 TobyB, Nov 3, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 3, 2012
  11. BudderMC

    BudderMC
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    Well unfortunately, I'm probably going to inadvertently do that a bit. But if you take the time to actually read what I'm saying and not just assume I'm being condescending, you might get some good advice out of it.

    The thing is, a lot of what you're describing about this weekend that indicates he's doing things to "turn you on" so-to-speak are not things the average person would assume turns someone else on. Things like:

    - guys taking their shirts off
    - guys sharing a bed
    - guys asking for a back rub

    Are they common? Not necessarily. But it certainly doesn't confidently point to him being into guys. Going off this idea, half the things you're reading as "signs" are strictly because you have a foot fetish... again, just because he takes off his socks doesn't mean he's into you.

    I don't know the extent of your friendship. I don't know how close you are, how much time you've actually spent together, if this is common behaviour, etc. That means you need to look rationally at this. Take off your rose-coloured glasses and give this some serious thinking.

    The safest bet is of course to assume that he's straight. That's the option that's most likely to preserve your friendship. As someone else mentioned, usually by coming out to someone you provide them with the opportunity (at any later point) to safely come out to you. Since he hasn't, he's either straight, or into guys but not comfortable enough to share. Either way, you aren't getting anything out of it right now, and pushing that envelope will just make things go downhill.

    And finally, with all due respect, at the age of 14 it's hard to gauge what you mean by the word "love". You haven't really listed much in this post about why you love him, just that he's attractive to you and is more touchy-feely than the average guy. Those qualities are not reasons to love someone. Just some food for thought.
     
    #11 BudderMC, Nov 3, 2012
  12. eeeyyy

    eeeyyy
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    hey Toby,

    I know it's been awhile since you posted this, but i think i'm in a similar situation as you. I'm so happy for you since you have a great friend. any updates on the story?
     
    #12 eeeyyy, Sep 19, 2015
  13. TheSeeker

    TheSeeker
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    He hasn't logged on in three years, sadly. So This this thread is dead. However... Why don't you create a new thread with your story and we'll see how we can be helpful?

    Good luck,

    -The Seeker
     
    #13 TheSeeker, Sep 19, 2015
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