My 8 year old son thinks he may be gay.

I still remeber myself being a little younger. Was dumber at first. I just pretend that i am not gay or anything and just normal. Actually i am very insecure. But well. I am glad that he have such a mom like you. You really did support him. If it was me, i would have been so happy. But now i am living with worries and all those...

 

Wow! Fantastic Job Mom! and Many great comments too in this thread. Often children know at an early age that they are different and have enormous difficulty navigating the sea of gender and sexual Identity, especially at the age your Son is at. I know for me I knew I was different from before Kindergarten and it manifested itself in a lot of little ways, from wanting to wear clothing of the opposite gender and who I identified with to naturally carrying my books like a girl instead of like a boy (on the hips instead of in the hand). In my case the resources and awareness were not there like they are today so expressing both genders wasn't even a thing back then.

Since your Son hasn't entered puberty yet the best advice I can give is to do as you are doing.. let him know that he is Ok and that there is nothing wrong with him, but that our society sometimes isn't accepting and also help him to keep an open mind. He may be Gay, Trans, or somewhere in-between or maybe even straight and he doesn't need to choose to identify with anything just yet because so many changes are going to happen that can change things between now and adulthood and the important thing is that no matter what ends up being right for him that he is happy and well adjusted throughout his life.

 

Amazing story and amazing mum!

 

Just another person saying what a great mom you are. Your response was perfect.

 

My son first came out to me as Bi at 14. I thought he was just trying to ease into telling me, but he said he really thought that at the time. I think he is still questioning a bit, but he knows I am there for him no matter what.

I'm glad you were able to bring his father in to the fold on it. Over a year later, I am still trying to guide my son on telling his father, but it is his decision. Obviously you have a very loving and open family and you reacted wonderfully.

 

perhaps finding an art club or local theater group for extra curricular activities could be useful?

our kids joined theater between ages 6-12 and there were many kids who seemed to know their gender identities and orientations within the group.

the teachers there are great at diverting any bullying and it gave us an opportunity to discuss respect for all people with them early on. and gave the kids a place to make friends.

 

Your son is literally so lucky to have you. I love my folks, but they don't support me being gay. The fact that you made it clear that you would love and accept him unconditionally is nothing short of AMAZING... It's 2018 and even if given how public attitudes towards LGBT people changed, please try to remember that homophobia still exists. I'm not telling you to tell your son to hide who he is, but I'd want you to tell him that some people aren't as open minded as you are and so while hiding isn't necessary, it's still beneficial to be careful. At the end of the day, ALWAYS be there for your son,

 

Yep. I echo what everyone else has said. You seem like you’re a great mom. I don’t know that I could’ve told you at 8 that I was into guys, but in hindsight there were plenty of clues, and I think I always felt different.

The only thing that matters is that he knows you love him and will support him no matter what. The rest will work itself out.

 

I feel very touched by your attitude. Your response was so incredible... as it was the correct one! If you built for your son a confortable space at home, where there are no judgements, where he can express himself with no doubts or fears... believe me (as everyone in this topic has already told to you): you will see the benefits of it in the near future. When I was a child (7-10 years), I couldn't target myself as "gay", but I knew I was different: I paid more attention to guys, I looked to them constantly, I wanted to be his friend; and, at the same time, I knew that my hobbies and attitudes were different to those that were "normal" for "regular" guys. When I was a teen and I came up with the fact that I felt attraction to boys, I was alone at home: the only attitude that I had ever received there was "We'll love no matter who you are... but you are not gay, you don't look like a gay person, we can't understand gay relationships, that's so weird!"

And... now I imagine having a home space where I knew that if I were interested in guys I could tell it, and it makes me appreciate much more what you've done for your son. Let him be: I know you are worried (my mother was, and is, worried for me too), but if your home is a safe space for him, you will not be worried at all for that context.