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Moths later after I came out . So know what .....?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by faceup, Sep 16, 2018.

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  1. faceup

    faceup
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    So months ago I came out to my parents and they said not matter what they still love me and I should be proud and live my life the way I want to and they just want to see me happy !!

    So when I told them I was living away from home, but now here I am living with them again and everything seems to be the same I know this is the way it should be. But on the other hand I feel kind like weird I don't know why they still acting the same way and this is awesome, but like I have a scratch on my shoulder and my mum joked about asking me who the girl was !

    I think I am kind like weird, because in a way I thought my life would change, but everything still the same and this is good I know it should be this way and still need to come out to 2 or 3 friends, because I told only my mum and father.

    I think my point is: I came out so now what ?? What comes next !

    My nature is I am a very quite guy and like to be by myself I don't know I am just kind like "weird"

    When you guys came out did have like a MAJOR change in your life?

    Just to add I came out at 34 pretty later in life :frowning2:
     
    #1 faceup, Sep 16, 2018
  2. CL1990

    CL1990
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    now is when you get to be gay i guess...i was coming out for 2 years and couldnt find the point in it because i had never been with another girl....i guess that if you feel really you can put yourself out there to meet other gay people and see where it takes you?good luck with your journey :slight_smile:
     
    #2 CL1990, Sep 16, 2018
    faceup likes this.
  3. smurf

    smurf
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    Now comes the fun/truly scary part. You ready? You get to do WHATEVER you want.

    Honestly, that's it. You get to stop worrying about being out, being gay enough, etc and you just get to live the life you want for yourself.

    This is the scary part because there is no script for this. It is completely up to you. What do you want to happen next?

    Its going to take time for you all to re-learn how to be with each other. When things like this happen just say "he is sadly non-existence" or "he was wild!". Not sure the dynamics of your relationship with your mom. But simply change the pronoun and keep at it. Your mom will get the hint.

    If she doesn't, have a conversation with her. Talk to her about it in person, tell her that you can't have her saying things like that around you, and that you need to know they are there for you.

    Find the other weird people!

    Listen, I'm a weird guy. I have my quirks, I see live differently, and I like to do things my way. Instead of worrying about fitting in and whatever, I just found some other amazingly weird people to hang out with. I have friends who are also introverts and sometimes we just hang out in the same house, eat, and then around each other with phones and tvs because that is what we want to do.

    Find the people who enjoy what you enjoy.

    What do you like to do alone? How do you like to spend your time?

    Not really. Coming out can be a bit anticlamatic a bit.

    What changes for most people is just being able to have the energy and time to do something else other than thinking about our sexuality, coming out etc.
     
    #3 smurf, Sep 17, 2018
    Drizzle and faceup like this.
  4. faceup

    faceup
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    Location:
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
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    A few people
    I have no idea what I want, I don't see myself dating anyone or getting married in a way I think I am too afraid of relationship. I am sure that this is something that I need to work on.

    I have a good relationship with her, but when comes to talk anything sex relate we never ever talk not that I want to, but at home this is how we were raised I don't talk about sex with my father, mum, sisters or anyone. When I mean sex I include talk about girlfriends, boyfriends.
    At home we never bring up stuff like who are you dating or I don't anything that is more "personal". I know sounds weird, but this is how I was raised and even with friends I don't talk about those stuff.

    I am pretty chill dude kind of guy who would rather be at home with friends watching a movie or playing something than go to a PUB,CLUB or Party.
    I love being by myself watching movies, listening to music and playing games.

    Since I told my parents I am more chill and suicidal thoughts almost vanish and I feel a little bit better =)

    Thanks so much for your reply !
     
    #4 faceup, Sep 18, 2018
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2018
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