Hello all , I have been posting and commenting here for almost a year . Short version of my story is am a 57 year old married man (30years) with thrrr kids in their 20's. My wife discovered last September I had been sleeping with guys which of course caused a tremendous amount of strain and taking between us . We have come sort of full circle in this period and just last week my wife and I had such an amazing g talk about us and everything . She has essentially forgiven me for he infidelity and is accepting of my sexuality (not a label guy but obviously not straight is fair). She wants to stay together as we ha e a great life overall together and love being with each other . The issue is sex and intimacy , she just has low to no sex drive not a need and she k owe I won't stay celebrate so she has basically opened things up and we now have a mixed Orientation marriage . Now I am Going to be smart and safe and well we shall see how things go . I am brutally aware that many mixed marriages don't make it and that may be out case too but will see how it all goes and keep our communication open and honest . Time will tell , just felt like sharing .
Hey - I hope it works out for you. I think that the most important part of an open relationship is strong boundaries. You have your boundaries of being smart and safe; have you and your wife established boundaries regarding communication, time away, etc? Of course, another important thing is flexibility and the willingness to re-evaluate. My experience isn't exactly the same as my former husband is gay. He was involved in a relationship when he came out and we had to work through the leaving process, etc. We had a plan for when he would move out and I thought I knew where my boundaries were, but he asked for a "sleep over" basically and that destroyed me. He moved out a month and a half earlier than planned because I could not continue to live like that. Please be compassionate and loving with your wife. I'm not suggesting you're not, but understand that even if her sex drive is non-existent, I would guess she still craves affection and intimacy in other ways. Give her space to adjust as you adjust as well. And above all else, be loving to yourself. My best wishes to you both.
You are sweet and kind so thank you . And yes I love my wife and can't imagine not being honest and open after the hard work we both out into to get where we are now . We are very compassionate and mature about it all and know everyone lives their own lives and all marriages have their own things . Thank you again
I am 58 married 32 years this September. I came out to her two months ago. We are going to try to stay together, although I can't explore anything with another man. I will just have to sell gratify.
Well much to my surprise we got to this place which I never imagined we would . But through a lot of open honest discussions with and without therapist , it wa really my wife that suggested it which blew me away
Your marriage may get even stronger after going through all of this. Her initial reaction and need for time and recovery is understandable and for her to come to thus decision is really awesome. Best of luck, glad you shared.
She's an amazing woman. It's not an easy thing to do, to be open in this place. I believe your marriage / relationship will be stronger for the strength you both exhibit in this situation. Blessings to both of you.
Yes I feel that during this entire process and most definitely since our latest talk . She has been amazing to my since day one and shown the love we have and her deep understanding of how things evolve and hope we can continue this path together
