I have been emailing a woman for a week. Over the course of this week things have ratcheted up fast, until we found a way of meeting yesterday evening. And I am feeling a mixture of feelings. Firstly I'm concerned that I was overly intimate over emails. They become dangerously quickly like poetic love letters and that's my fault - I feel I led it. Both of us are in a similar position - separated, but still within the family home, with children and recently having suffered unrequited love for a woman. After a drink and only about an hour we ended up in her car together, making out, having held hands in public in a small town and kissed, which I felt quite anxious about. It is my first time ever with a woman. She had a very innocent, but nonetheless love relationship as a student, many years ago, so we are fairly even there. I felt comfortable, physically. I enjoyed touching her, the scent of her skin, her soft female body felt comforting and reassuringly like home. I felt both curiosity and desire to touch her and kiss her body. Especially, I wanted to give her pleasure, because I sense the years of loneliness in her. I tenderly feel like I wanted her to enjoy physical contact, because she has not experienced that visceral pleasure with a man. I feel weirdly calm and nurturing, whilst she is shaking. I am not as focused on my own pleasure, though I am turned on. But, and here's the but. I am concerned just how into me she is. She made some comment about "when we are married" and kept saying "this feels so right, I knew it as soon as I saw you". She said " I don't know how I'm not going to see you until..." The date we can probably meet is some weeks away and she wants us to get a room. I just don't think I can give that level of intensity or commitment right now. I'm not in love with her. I've only been in love twice - once with my husband and once with my catalyst. It's only been a week. Although we have talked about intimate a things I just I want to have more ordinary conversations too. I'm honestly not sure I'm completely over my catalyst, or emotionally ready or able to have those feelings for anyone else. I am scared of her need.