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Missing Parts and Limitations

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Amira, May 25, 2015.

  1. Synthetik

    Regular Member

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    That doesn't make you a fuckup, darlin', it just makes you kind. I don't think it's possible for kindness to be overrated.
     
  2. EnviroLady

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hi, I'll be a female friend to you.

    I think a lot of straight people don't understand trans and women in general are scared of men because media victim blames and says after rape a women should alter her clothes or not going walking in the dark when really why are we to blame for men's actions?

    I digress I think you are ready for assignment surgery and I don't know much about it but why would it be a fake? Can't they kind of mould the skin you have? I think it would be easier to get female parts than male parts but then again I know little about it, sorry. However if a women likes women does it matter to her that you were born a man? No it shouldn't! If you identified as a woman but had a penis then perhaps that is problematic if she is not into male genatalia.

    As for biologically worthless, that is crazy, your sperm if donated could help others have children, whilst I realise you would prefer to have eggs, if your sperm are good sperm and saved they could still make your future partner pregnant and that child is still biologically part of you, if not she may use a sperm bank and whilst the child is not biologically yours you will still be its mother or mum depends on what you call yourself and what your partner calls herself.

    Society may not have treated you as female but society is evolving every day. One upon a time black people were treated as slaves rather than as equals and now they don't have separate bathrooms and ridiculous separate doors anymore. Your life is not second best, it's a new life. It's the ability to have lived as a male and a female which is quite incredible, you will understand men's and women's issues which makes you quite valuable having had that lived experience of being a man and a woman and good as a friend, advocate and an employee.

    I hope you can go out and meet some new people who accept you. It sounds like you had had it very rough. Go to lfbti events and meet other people that are trans and those that aren't and see that it's a minority that doesn't accept, realise not everyone will love you but that's what makes those do so special. Know I will be your friend as will many other people on here I'm sure and we will be looking forward to updates on what you have done for the day and by updates I mean something other than sleep. However I do understand it as a coping mechanism.

    But i challenge you to go out so you have some stories for me about your day. Go and make a difference in someone's life, help a migrant learn English, keep an older person happy by chatting to them, meet other people who you can inform about what it is to be trans and enlighten them them that you are normal as much as any other person on the planet. Watch lgbti folk on YouTube, I recommend Kaelyn and Lucy totally loving them at the moment. And fight for causes you believe in, find some things you like doing and do them, knitting, singing, footy, cooking, fixing up a car - anything no matter if it is seem as a male or female hobby go for it.

    Last of all write to me and let me know how your day is, what hobbies you are pursuing, how you are filling in your time.
     
  3. Amira

    Regular Member

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    i was never really a man though, since i came out at 14. i don't know anything about how men live. i always wanted to be a girl so i think that kind of separates me from the way men think.

    and i know why women are scared of men as i'm a survivor of multiple rapes and attempted rapes. it just hurts that i'm permanently marked with the features of the sex of my attackers and that i'll never quite belong among women because the damage testosterone did to my body makes them see me as a potential rapist.

    i don't really see how life is worth living if i want to be a real woman but i'll never belong in women's spaces or the lesbian community because women see a rapist in me the same way i see my rapists in the mirror. it sounds like i'm in for a lonely, unloved life full of ridicule and exclusion and self-hatred and nobody's going to want their kids being educated on gender by a rapist-looking man who's dressed like a woman.

    i don't know. i feel cheated and like god's practical joke was to make me a boy and that my urge to die is coming back really strongly.
     
  4. Miko

    Miko Guest

    I'm cis female but I had a DSD/Intersex condition at birth which meant my ovaries were basically useless and I needed corrective surgery to my vagina to fix some external disfigurement.

    I had them removed a little while ago, I still have my womb of course. While I'm not fertile I don't let that get me down at all. The thing is, I kinda don't want to get pregnant but I do want biological children. Pregnancy can mess your body up something awful so I think if I do have biological kids in the future it'll be through a lab or a surrogate.

    How you may ask given my ovaries are gone? Well you can make sperm and egg cells from skin. You can then use these in an artificial or natural womb to grow a child. So really, hope isn't lost. I don't want kids for at least another twenty years, imagine the scientific progress then!

    Life is essentially what you make of it. With patience, looking for none-mainstream alternatives where needed and optimism you can accomplish almost anything. ^-^


    Onto you feeling that your post SRS vagina wouldn't be 'real'. What makes a vagina 'real'? At the end of the day human sex is and always will be a spectrum. It's why intersex conditions exist. They teach you that XY = Boy and XX = Girl but it's simply not true, at the end of the day even if you don't take trans people into account XY often equals boy but not always, sometimes it equals girl. The opposite is true of XX. Then there's stuff like XXY XYY XXX etc etc.

    Now sex is basically the exact same organ expressed different based on hormones in the womb. Your average trans womans vagina post SRS lacks wetness that would be produced by the cervix and a few glands in the vagina. The skin is also fairly thin compared to cis girls vaginal skin and you have to dilate. But other than that? It's identical. And since dry, thin skin can happen to cis girls too? It really doesn't affect your vagina being 'real' or not at all. At the end of the day is it what people would describe overall as a vagina? If yes then it's a vagina.

    So there's my take on it, it's a bit different to what you'll usually hear but being intersex I have a lot of knowledge and interest in sexual development and what makes someone male/female both gender and sex wise. All my opinion but at the end of the day, labels are just subjective anyway. I hope this has helped. ^-^
     
  5. Amira

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    thank you. that helped to hear <3