Feeling a bit..strange. I recently went on a fishing trip with my cousin and mother. And they called it, "The Girl's Fishing Trip." And I did a double take. At first I was feeling what I usually did..the empowered powerful woman pride thing, that I used to feel back when I thought I was a tomboy. And then, I stopped and felt suddenly uncomfortable. Ummm..no..not a girl's trip, a family trip. It was very startling. And I went to this store and after being used to forcing myself to fit in and dress appropriately for my birth gender as female..I automatically gravitated around the shiny diamond bracelets. I find jewelry beautiful, like a scientist observing some strange species he's attempting to interact with. It's there, it exists, I don't mind it, if anything I'm fascinated by it. Why do women go crazy about it? Am I expected to? We're my thoughts about it. I've become so used to wearing them and buying jewelry that I do so despite not caring about it. I became self conscious as a group of guys were standing around socializing and a guy interacting with his mom while shopping. And I felt a weird itching feeling within and I felt odd like I wasn't acting right..or something. And became aware suddenly how feminine my chest is and how I look feminine and am looking at jewelry. And I wanted to act differently, so they would see me as masculine. As odd as that sounds. And at time I'll go to advocate women's rights to be strong, athletic and masculine-like. Then, I'll be like..wait..I'm not a women. And then, I feel strange like I don't know how to act and what to say. On some level I always stood out from my masculine ways and identity, and felt that I was a man. But, I've never confronted that part of me, that whole of me, so boldly before. It's a lot of adjusting lately. And even more so a few people online called me a girl, or by she/her pronouns saying I gave off a "feminine vibe." Which made me feel uncomfortable and offended. But, I managed to recover and correct them. I don't have much to ask for advice. Just am venting to y'all. If, that's okay.