I am deconstructing my life so far until I came out. I find that I was a different version of me then. Scared, anxious, lack of confidence, poor self esteem, avoiding social interaction. Some of this could be because I am somewhat shy and introverted. I can't understand the impact this would have had on my mental health - yet I did not realise why! Why does being in denial/suppression/closeted result in all this? There must be so many who suffer like this. Why does it not prompt them into taking action? Some may have been to psychiatrists too. If so then why does it take so long to understand the reason? People who come out rarely mention that they came out because of these. Some even have had multiple same sex partners. They are almost like a byproduct of coming out. Is it all due to shame and internalised homophobia? Any thoughts?