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Mean Gays: Is Lying About Your Sexual Past Wrong?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by confuseduser99, Aug 14, 2017.

  1. confuseduser99

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    I often lie about my sexual history. I've only really had sex (penetrative) with one person and have done some other sexual things with a handful of other men. I find that the gay community, on average, is promiscuous (no judgements either way about that) and I therefore have to fit in and thus lie about my sex game. I even do this with some of my friends.

    Is this wrong? Should I just be honest? The lying causes me a little anxiety and I hate the feeling that I can't be my true self about my sexual history. After all, I'm personally not that good with the whole ###### hookup thing.
     
  2. Keiff Ti

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    Being honest about your sexual exploits is almost as important as being honest about your sexuality IMHO. Anxiety from the lie is a cl3ar sign that it's not the right way to go about it.
     
  3. Twist

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    Why bother? There's plenty of guys out there looking for someone that isn't a raging slut. Be proud of yourself and who you are.
     
  4. Humbly Me

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    I think you shouldn't lie, most people really aren't that promiscuous, they tend to just exaggerate their sexual exploits and promiscuity is naturally noticeable because it is apparent often, rather than something that is rarely noticed like a lack of rampant promiscuity.
     
  5. Ruby Dragon

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    I agree that you shouldn't feel compelled to lie just because you feel like you're not getting as much sexual experiences as others (Besides, who's to say THEY'RE not making stuff up to try and look more appealing?). In my opinion, I'd rather be with someone who has limited sexual experience than someone who's been with 50 people before me. I'm not currently sexually active, and it doesn't bother me, because I'd rather hold out till someone worthwhile comes along than sleep with people just because. Just some food for thought
     
  6. PatrickUK

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    Do you feel that it's important to discuss your sexual past? I never did when I was dating. As far as I was concerned a new date was a new start with fresh and exciting opportunities. I'd moved on and didn't want to talk about the past and what I'd done with other people. Telling your new date about the satisfaction you received from X, Y and Z isn't good form, in my opinion.

    By all means, discuss your preferences and mention what you'd like to try (this can be more exciting than saying what you've already done), but I really don't see any compelling need to go into detail or lie about your sexual history.
     
  7. Tallen

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    When two people have interest in each other it is beneficial to know what sexual acts please each other to see if they are sexually compatible. I have been asked many times are you a T or a B, so by all means those types of questions are normal and should be discussed, on the other hand if some one wants to know how sexually active you have been & if you protected yourself its because they are concerned about their own health & safety. Sex without protection presents great risk in contacting diseases in some regions that we don't want. I only have sex with men that I am going to be with for awhile and they can show me that they have been tested.
     
    #7 Tallen, Aug 15, 2017
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 15, 2017
  8. Chip

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    When someone is inauthentic in a relationship, it sort of goes against the entire values of what a healthy relationship is about.

    A good relationship is built on trust and authenticity. Without that, it's never going to be healthy or functional.

    For that reason, I wouldn't lie about my sexual history (or about anything else.) Anyone that judges you because you've not been promiscuous... isn't someone I'd want to go out with, and I hope that would be the same for you.