Since I'm not out (if I could be) I don't have anyone to observe or ask questions about this. Why is it that I live daily life as a masculine straight man, not thinking about or ever looking at other men. But when the urge hits me once or twice a year, I want to be total opposite in my role having sex with a man than my everyday character. I'm a feminine total bottom wanting to be taken by a total top man. Why is this extreme switch so exciting?