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Maybe I just need to accept that I am transgender?

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Kelseyk92, Jun 23, 2020.

  1. Kelseyk92

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    For example, the majority of society thinks that women should serve men, a lot of people don't take lesbian sex serious because it doesn't involve penetration and serving a man.

    I wouldn't ask someone that, my ex straight friend would always ask why I like women and it was so rude because you just like what you like how can you tell them why. But obviously I don't understand it. I hate that women are made to feel like they should be submissive to men

    I've never understand society's obsession with penis lol but to be fair it makes me want one! when I watch straight porn it looks so powerful someone doing anything to please you; I mean I own many dildos because as a lesbian I felt like I had to but I would never grab for them, I can imagine sex with men being boring.

    Their seems to be power with having a penis! Penis are so obsessed with it. That straight girl I was friends with asked me about 1000 times "how on earth can you not like penis?", "you gotta lay back and take it babe" and would always talk about getting dicked down, another girl kept saying it tastes good lmfao. I don't get it? but then again, I don't want to have sex with men, I want to have sex as a man, I can picture it being so fun! The girl who kept saying "how can you not like dick, how are you a lesbian" tried to get with me many times and I'm sure she was in love with me but I didn't want to be with her (what lesbian would want to be with a woman who talks about having dick in her anus, vagina and mouth? no thank you) and when she dick did get "dicked down" the next day she will be talking about "gosh he wouldn't get off of me last night, it's horrible" and would say when her boyfriend wants sex, she doesn't, but when he doesn't want sex, it makes her want it, then when she gets it she doesn't enjoy it? VERY CONFUSING GIRL

    I hope one day we can make sperm from bone marrow so I can have a child with my partner, that would be amazing, but my friend told me to "STOP DREAMING" LOL

     
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  2. Kelseyk92

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    I meant people are obsessed with it, sorry!

     
  3. Kelseyk92

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    Truly, I do feel more like a man. I don't relate to women and I don't see many women like me. I truly do believe that my brain is wired like a straight man. There is nothing feminine about me whatsoever.

     
  4. Jaylah

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    Here are a few downsides to being a man that I came up with, just something to think about:

    Every man is treated as a potential rapist. Women will regard you with fear and suspicion.
    Men are very competitive, if you're not you will be labeled a pussy and a loser.
    You have to adhere to a "man code" or be thought a sissy. Don't act a certain way, don't dress a certain way, don't show an interest towards certain subjects, DON'T SHOW EMOTION, and the list just goes on and on.
    Men are considered to be expendable. You've heard of "save the women and children first".
    In a war, dead men are a statistic, dead women are more of a tragedy, because men's lives don't matter as much.
    Men face sexism too, but if you bring it up, you're ridiculed. As a man you aren't allowed to complain about anything at all, because after all you're "priviledged". Women have the presumption of innocence, but men are assumed to be guilty, and in divorce it's usually the woman who gets the children. Did I mention that men aren't supposed to have feelings? This includes depression. You will get told to "shake it off" "man up", you're required to be strong at all times, and it can be very exhausting.
    These are just some of things I could come up with off the top of my head. It seems to me like your desire to transition is based chiefly on power and sex (I could be wrong here) and I fear you'll be greatly disappointed if you were to transition.
     
  5. gravechild

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    Oh, wow :/ If it were possible to somehow get rid of body parts and swap, I'd do it in a heartbeat lol. Technology is improving all the time, so we might see that bone marrow dream pan out in our life times.
     
  6. Kelseyk92

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    that’d be dope! I’d be down for sure lol
     
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  7. Kelseyk92

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    I'd rather be assumed to be a potential rapist than be in the majority of rape victims statistics and be too scared to walk alone at night. Women have.a much higher chance of being raped and no I don't believe I'm trans just because of sexism and needing power. There's many reasons. I don't like having a female body, I get anxious looking at my breasts. I hate it when I am compared to a female actress look wise,. I am happy when I am compared to a male celebrity. I would like to have a penis. The thought of sex AS a man excites me. I feel as though I will never have a healthy sex life with my biological parts. I also don't feel worthy of love as I'm a woman but I don't feel like a woman. If I can't love and accept myself, how can I expect someone to? I want to be loved and desired AS a man only. Power comes with being a man maybe that's why I mentioned about power. But to me, being a man seems easier as well, you don't have to give birth, you don't have to have periods, you don't have to be brainwashed by society to just serve men, you don't have to be in the majority of rape victim statistics, you can pee standing up!, your last name gets carried on, in straight relationships men orgasm more than women sexually (statistics), etc... I am genuinely jealous that men have a penis and can get women pregnant, surely a bio woman who isn't trans wouldn't feel this way? I feel like to be happy I need to be LOVED AS A MAN. I think my brain is wired like that of a straight man?

     
  8. Kelseyk92

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    I even remember as a kid wishing my clit would turn into a penis and making play dough willies and shoving them down my knickers and I only fantasise about sex with me being the man. I remember always trying to pee standing up as a kid. And when I looked at boys I just wanted their hair cuts

     
  9. Pinknbloo

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    Hi, I'd like to share a brief opinion and in no way want to trivialize your dilema or pretend I fully understand your problem. First I'm always amazed and fascinated when someone shares what's in their head or heart when discussing wanting to transition or when describing how they don't fit in with what "normal" people determine as normal sexual preferences or what is a normal gender identity. I, being born with a penis, have never felt male and always wanted to be female. I never cared for the rough and tumble macho male persona and hated faking it in my younger days to prevent getting my ass kicked. I won't bore with details, but i adored, if not envied the feminine form.
    Opinion #2:this is not meant to be prudish, but avoid porn. Not only is it addictive as you know, or knew, but it absolutely screws up any realistic thoughts or beliefs on gender, identity, behavior, sexual behavior and expression, and im sure this list could be added to. I know having been there. I being gender fluid with trans ideology (pre trans maybe?) went to porn or slipped into it when i realized that I, being someone that might have been labeled a feminine male, was attracted to cis women including butch and or masculine women... Try finding that on a dating site. As a matter of fact I did try. 99%of the time porn sites popped up. Being a curious kitty I peaked in... Slowly, insidiously, i was drawn in. Porn is meant to be addictive. It affects the brain like a drug would and warps the psyche more than you can imagine. It will only cloud and confabulate your issues. Please avoid it if you are really seeking to work out your issues! I wish you the best
     
  10. Kelseyk92

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    It guess it’s just how our brain is wired? I really see nothing appealing about being born a woman

    I don’t really watch porn much anymore, I’m already disturbed enough from it lol

     
  11. ChescaC

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    I would say that you could very well be Trans. Either Enby(Non-binary) or Trans Gender.
     
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  12. Mihael

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    When you’re on the other side already, and I mean socially in my case, not physically, life is much less frustrating, believe me. Get that masculine haircut, get into shape, so that you’re not afraid of sexual or any other assault, learn how to pee not sitting on that goddamn toilet... who on earth would find that pleasant? Don’t serve anyone. Have sex in a way you enjoy, whatever it is. You don’t have to give birth and you can take birth control or testosterone and not have periods. You may not be able to defy biology in several ways like producing sperm or may not be able to grow 6ft tall, but you can have all the other things and if the discrepancy is large, it’s definitely worth it to solve the problem even in that fraction.
     
  13. Kelseyk92

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    I do feel like I have a lot of internalised sexism because I was born a woman? I don’t like being associated with being a woman. I see how the majority of women are, just care about men’s attention, like no good bad boys, etc, bend over backwards for them... even though I’m not a straight woman it makes me feel sick! I desire to be loved as a man, how on earth will I ever love myself even if I do transition knowing I was born female????
     
  14. Mihael

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    That’s quite a bit of perfectionism. Assuming that your concerns are legit and not resulting from internatised misogyny, it seems like you are experiencing a lot of distress. It’s not going to go away if you do nothing about it. We won’t even be cis, but being trans and congrunent is still better, more comfortable, than trying to be cis of whatever gender we were assigned at birth. You name a lot of reasons whybeing female in ways that can be changed is a pain for you. Go and fix it. Or else you’ll be brooding in misery for the rest of your life. Some of them don’t even require irreversible medical interventions.

    Do you have an idea how to deal with the internalised sexism? You have to distinguish what is sexism in that and what is you not liking being something the society told you to be. Certain statements like not liking to be associated with women, can have both grounds.
     
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  15. Kelseyk92

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    Well I guess now I just have to accept because being loved as a woman doesn’t feel appealing to me. I know my true happiness is being a man
     
  16. Kelseyk92

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    I think I have to accept I am transgender and get on with it. I do feel as though I am suffering from severe internalised sexism. I am starting LGBT therapy soon so hopefully that will help

     
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