Hi! Lately i have been feeling confused, lonely as hell and nostalgic. I keep questioning everything over and over again, including my sexuality. Let me tell you my whole story. I am a 25 years old female. When i was 10 ish, i remember touching myself to a female singer, which i still find cute to this day. This is where my whole sexual awakening started.. But i also remember seeing anyone on tv kiss and being pretty turned on. The first time i kissed someone, it was a guy, and then, again, we were 10-12 ish. I felt curious, but not really aroused or anything, but we were kids, and he literally took over my mouth with his tongue, lol! It was clumsy. And then, there was my two first years of high school. It was a rough time. I was bullied alot.. But, there was that one teacher. I remember her personality : Driven, strong headed.. Not 'submissive' at all as a person. Very confident. As a 15-16 years old girl, i felt lonely (never had much friends), and felt different.. That one teacher helped me alot. I remember, one time, she bent over. I could see her breasts in her shirt.. And i believe this has never left my mind. I had goosebumps. Was shook, aroused. I remember wanting to put my whole face there.. I remember wanting to suck on them.. A while later i met a girl at school, which i had a huge crush on, for a good whole year. She knew and was flattered. Never went further, though. And then someday, i had sex (lesbian sex), with one of my best friends, which maybe i was not so much attracted to after all.. But the feeling of sucking on boobs.. Woah.. And then a few other experiences, still not so much experimented to my tastes. I also had sex with different girls. Everytime i've done it i felt terribly attracted to their breasts.. like i could let my face there all day.. I also have this current very long time crush with whom id love to .. make out. She turns me on like no one before. I just wanna eat her coochie, listen to her moan all day.. Play with her hair.. Whenever shes around i get stressed out.. All messy. EXTREMELY messy. I also tried it with a man once. I liked sucking him.. But even though we have not done it ALL, i havent disliked it. But titties were missing. Am i a lesbian ? Or just fantasizing.. ? Help!
Only you can determine who you are and what your sexuality is but to me from what you have said here it sounds more as if you are bisexual with a preference for women.
Its hard to say, you mentioned you didnt dislike your time with a guy, but on the other hand you really dont mention wanting it again. Sounds more like you were curious and wanted to try it. I know for me being bi i get cravings for the gender i want and at those times sex with the other gender does not cut it. Just remember the choice is yours and there is no right or wrong answer. Just follow your heart and you cant go wrong.
I can relate to this. It can be really confusing - especially when sexual fantasy gets involved. Only you can really know how you feel in your heart. I really feel what you said about feeling like something was missing - that’s how I have felt in experiences with men. Although being honest I have never really enjoyed pleasuring them, I have just done it because that’s what I thought I should do rather than something I wanted to do. (Sounds bad but I thought that’s how all women felt then recently discovered this is not the case - comp het to blame I think!) Sexuality is so complex, there is so much to it, I have found recently I am trying to label myself to help me feel less confused but I’m getting to the point where labels are making me feel more uncomfortable because I don’t feel like I can pinpoint exactly how I feel. I hope you find some peace with all this.
