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Married with children but think I’m a lesbian - any advice very welcome

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Emily999, May 24, 2020.

  1. Peterpangirl

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    I really resonate with this point. Only you can name your own feelings. The impression I have is that you are deeply in love with this woman, but only you have the right to name your own feelings. I wish you peace and strength.
     
    #61 Peterpangirl, Aug 23, 2020
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2020
  2. Emily999

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    I do feel completely in love with her
    I just don’t feel completely not in love with him too if that makes any sense at all
     
  3. Peterpangirl

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    Yes it does make sense.
     
  4. Emily999

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    My head is a complete spin
    I think the children make it so hard to have my feelings for him clear, I can’t seem to unpick them at all
     
  5. Emily999

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    It’s getting harder and harder now her husband has left the home.
    Spending time with her there makes me feel like I’m in another world and I’m playing a part of an actress with them both now because I don’t even know how I feel anymore
     
  6. Emily999

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    It’s become harder and harder since her husband left the family home.
    We are no longer spending time on walks / dinners / hotels - it’s now in her home which makes it feel very real and very alien at the same time.
    I don’t know what I even feel anymore Without going into too much detail sex is now near on impossible with my husband due to the guilt and trying to distance myself almost so that I have a reason for what I’m doing with her and sex with her is hard because of the guilt I now have of her being on her own when I’m still married.
    I’ve stopped being able to reach climax at all now, almost like some sort of metal block, I don’t know if that’s normal or not
     
  7. LostInDaydreams

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    Hi @Emily999, I’m sorry to hear that things are still hard for you. Do you think some distance might help? I might have suggested this before and I appreciate it might be hard with coronavirus, children, etc. but could get away for a bit so you’ve got some space to think? Maybe stay with family or just try to get a few hours alone.
     
  8. Emily999

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    The issue is we work together so from tomorrow will be in the same building all day Monday - Friday.
    I have actually been away with the children as my husband was called into work but no amount of time seems to make anything clearer.
    I’m more petrified of feeling like I’m in love with two people than the fallout of knowing one way or the other and dealing with whatever fallout followed that
     
  9. Stephanie8

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    Oh this hit home for me. I have been wishing he woukd cheat on me too...
     
    sunflower8 likes this.
  10. Ferl

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  11. olderwiser

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    I feel for you and know the pain you are feeling. To find someone that really makes you sing and feel so happy and then to have them taken away is a hurt far beyond hurt. Just know it will get better after a while...