Ahh, yes the distance thing. I can relate to this a tiny bit. One of my very best friends also lives in South Carolina. He is gay, and has had an extremely difficult time with accepting it. The distance makes it hard... Well, I would still say going to couseling is a good idea, but if you aren't quite ready, then be sure to spend a lot of time on here, and talk to your friends elsewhere about it. Just talking about it and not keeping it in will help you get to where you should be and discover what these feelings really mean. But keep in mind that (though EC is an incredible resource), very few things can replace having a couselor who is professional.