Thank you guys, and yes @IanMkh I will get the counselling before blurting anything out, that's good advice. I know my head isn't exactly rational right now, the highs and lows are giddying, so you are right that I need to get my head in gear before doing anything rash. One step at a time, I guess. Thank you for the offer of taking this to DMs, I will take you up on that as I move forward if that's okay. Please don't let me be a burden though. Maybe we can help each other though this even though you are a lot further on than me? I will probably post updates on here as this all pans out, hopefully this all has a happy ending and others in the same boat can read this in the future. For the first time in ages I am feeling more positive. Not normal by any means, the waves of depression and tears and weird sense of panic are still bubbling, but I feel like I can cope now. That's a huge leap forward compared to where I was even a couple of days ago.