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Marriage and Name Changing

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Motto, Dec 14, 2013.

  1. apostrophied

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    Heteronormative my butt. I'm changing my name if I can. It would actually cost me something (a couple hundreds? Not sure.) to do it because here, women don't change their name when they get married. But my name is hyphenated already (another crazy Quebec thing), half French and half immigrant, so I'll be happy to take on a regular, easy-to-spell name (either French or English).

    Alternately, I could drop the foreign part of my name, but I dunno. It would be offensive to half my family (not that I'm close to them or that they would care...).
     
  2. I agree with you. I've never liked that women are expected to give up their names and take up their husband's. It's a really sexist tradition, signifying that women are the property of men.

    I would do it. I actually like this idea. Instead of one person taking on the other's name, make up a new name.
     
  3. Munyal

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    My last name is short, so I could easily hyphenate it with somebody else. If he really wanted me to change my name, I would (probably), but I love the history behind it, so that most likely won't happen.
     
  4. An Gentleman

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    I'm not getting married in the first place. That kind of commitment is... crap. I can't think of a better descriptor for it.
    Hypothetically, if I did, I wouldn't change my last name. Especially not if they had a weird last name.
    I kind of feel pity for those unfortunate people who end up with a surname like "Butts" or "Cox" or "Hyman". (Those are all real last names!)
     
  5. Mrtambourineman

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    I quite like mine tbh. I would either make him hyphenate or keep his.I actually don't particularly want to get married but if I HAD TO I would want to keep my name. I'm not even going into straight people wondering who the woman is in the relationship and taking someone elses name would confuse that further.
     
  6. castle walls

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    I plan on changing my last name when I marry. I'm not too fond of the one I have now
     


  7. I have done it different ways so far

    first relationship I took hers (awful mistake that relationship & then all the trouble changing to back & all)

    Then the last one she took mine


    the next one I just want us to for informal purposes hyphenate for me I use mine-hers she will use hers-mine BUT legally we will just keep our own. Simplifies things and no court documents needed or filing fees at all.

    I mean I went to all the trouble of legally getting a new name after my parents told me I could not keep my step-fathers - don't need to go to court and get all that stuff again. Social security, insurance, all the documents, new birth certificate, it get monotonous and expensive.

     
  8. BryanM

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    I'd go with hyphenating.
     
  9. Silver Sparrow

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    I'd probably take my partner's last name, hyphenate, or come up with a whole new last name. I like my last name, so I'd probably want to keep it as my middle name or as part of a hyphenated name.
     
  10. Black Cat

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    I like my last name. It's clearly ethnic in origin so it doesn't exactly lend itself to picturing my man wanting to take it on.

    When couples combine their names to form a new one I'm always confused. And it reminds me of one of my favorite scenes from Father of the Bride...

    I wouldn't object to taking his really, but I've become quite attached to my own (it took a while, due to my paternal-family's issues...)

    It's a bridge to be crossed when and if I ever marry/commit to Mr. Right. Frankly, I see nothing wrong with not changing last names at all, but I feel that is chiefly due to the fact that most of my role-models married and didn't change last names.
     
  11. Tzoa

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    I'm one such unfortunate and people ask why I want to change my last name... :lol:
     
  12. juliegt6

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    My girlfriend and I have discussed this, and based on a couple reasons, I'd be taking her last name if there were any name changing. I love her so much and would be honored to take her last name.
     
  13. resu

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    No change, and I would actually discourage my partner changing names as well (it would be awkward if only one person does it). I feel changing the name changes my identity to myself and to others, and even if I got married, I want to be seen as the same person I always was. Wearing a ring is about as explicit as I would get to showing I'm married.
     
  14. Absol

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    Well I think hyphenating or combining the names has nice symbolism, so probably that. I kind of like the ideal of hyphenating more though.

    I'm not sure if my name has any historical significance behind because I don't know anything from my father's side of the family; only thing I do know, is that might come from a German origins. My initials are also the same letter(ex. AAA) and I've always liked that. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  15. Motto

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    I would change my name if I got married. Not only do I find it romantic, sweet, and a sign of commitment, but I also think it can be an important social statement. I have heard of gay couples changing their names and then having people assume they are siblings. That might be kind of weird.
     
  16. AlamoCity

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    I have given it some thought and I think I have a few ideas:

    1) We each hyphenate each others' names, either keeping with tradition and keeping our "maiden names" first in our new last name, or choosing to both have the exact same last name by choosing some order to order of hyphenation (to be honest, I am just slightly afraid some people would try and guess who is the "man" in the relationship based on this cue even though that is ludicrous on so many levels (e.g. there are TWO men in the relationship and they're both MALES))

    2)We each choose a totally different last name or use mine only (perhaps if he feels he wants to distance himself from his family based on how he's been treated by his biological family).

    3)We use the letters of our surnames and make an anagram that will be equally ours and use that as our last name (e.g. Mr. Jones and Mr. Smith become Messrs. Joshesmint).
     
  17. prism

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    I would really like to keep my own last name, but I would consider changing it. In Chinese culture, passing alone your surname is a big deal, so it's kind of important to me. If my partner was in the same situation, or just really wanted me to take her last name, I would do it.
     
  18. Aussie792

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    Yeah, the expectation of superiority in the use of double-barrelled names is appalling.

    And just being pedantic; Messieurs is only ever to refer to brothers when used in English.
     
  19. AlamoCity

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    Haha yeah. The problem with that is that because "gay marriage" is such a "novel" institution, the rules and etiquette of same-sex marriage are still being written and rewritten . I have actually seen some gay-oriented wedding websites use the word as a way to write invitations and the like. I personally like how it looks and I think it's because I took several years of French when I was younger; but it would be awkward if people assume the happy couple are happy siblings :bang:.
     
  20. Incognito10

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    My partner and I are married and we both kept our names. We do, or at least I, hope to adopt at which point we said we would unify the family name by hyphenating.