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Man, I want to figure my sexuality out

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Bowser, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. Bowser

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    Hey EC,

    So I've been struggling about this question for a decade now. Am I straight? Am I bi? Am I gay? Somewhere in between?

    I've got caring yet psycho parents who are homophobic, which has also influenced this long debate with myself. Now I don't care so much what they think. (Which makes me happy!... well not sure if I should be though... but whatever I am!)

    But now about my sexuality... unsure if any of this talk is graphic.. so just letting you know.

    During my school years I did not experiment with either girls or guys, I was a shy kid. I primarily look at gay porn 'cause I find it hot, though I tend to like straight to gay guy porn, or the initial storyline climaxing to when they actually have sex. 70 percent of the time I glaze over the sex part, sometimes I get into the whole passion of it.

    Anyways in daily life, I find myself checking out guys. But there are those (few and occasional) times I gain an attraction to women or maybe I find them appealing. (That's what I am not sure about)...

    I did recently had sex with a guy for the first time, I found the affection and foreplay a lot more arousing than the sex part, which I only got pleasure through trying to please him. Oral and bottoming, just not that into it, not painful, just disinterested. But then again that was my first... But I know I like guys, so being straight is obviously ruled out.

    I think (maybe its denial) I've been attracted to a few girls. When I see a girl of a particular "type" (things I like in them....) I get interested in them. I keep looking at them. But I don't really act on it. Maybe I'm shy. I'm interested in experimenting with girls. But then again I love trying new things... ... But this bugs me... :bang:
    On occasion, not often at all, I'll watch some lesbian and bisexual porn, (out of the blue, maybe because I'm sick of gay porn)... I do get aroused. Not as easily as I do with gay porn though.

    But my question to myself is am I gay or bi? I feel like I can probably answer this if I experiment. Maybe this more of a rant, but what do you EC folk think? :icon_bigg

    ---------- Post added 25th Aug 2013 at 07:55 PM ----------



    Just to add: I've always been wanting to cling on to being straight, its been rough a ride, but know I admit to myself that I like boys.
     
  2. Sounds like you're bi but lean more towards the gay side. Nothing wrong with that. I thought I was straight my whole life but recently have been having a bi curiosity thing happen. I too have homophobic parents and grandparents. If I came out to them they may or may not burn me at the stake lol. But yeah I'd say your a wind direction on the weather channel. Like, the wind is blowing NNW (north north west) but you're gay gay bi lol sorry, kinda bad analogy. Anyway, cheers!
     
  3. Adi

    Adi
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    Well, you know you like guys, no? So, as you said, you're not straight. You do sound like a gay leaning bi guy, but only you can know for sure. If you ever meet a girl with whom you "click" with, you'll know it. The label doesn't matter, so don't let that stop you from pursuing someone you are attracted to.
     
  4. Bowser

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    Lol great analogy. Totally understand.
    And that's what I've been thinking... gay gay bi or gay leaning bi.
    But as you say labels don't matter, I'll just go with what I feel.
    Thanks!
     
  5. Stephany

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    Maybe you're one of those lucky few that gender isn't the deciding factor in your attractions to people.