Lube! So many questions...

Yep! Not sure the science behind it or the whys of it all, but its definitely a thing.

I can personally just use spit and need 0 prep, but obviously only for short duration sex. Anything more and I need lube. (only do this with my husband. Don't use just spit as lube with hookups). My husband needs around 30 minutes of prep and lube. I have friends who are all over the spectrum of it all. One of my friends needs to play with a buttplug before he bottoms.

Also, some guys get off from the slight pain of friction. So its truly all over the place and you need to learn your body.

As long as you aren't feeling pain and you are enjoying it then it works. I still a proponent that you try better lube tho haha

 

Personally, I find silicone lube better than water based lubes like KY because it's more slick and lasts longer. It's not for everyone though.

I think one of the issues with bottoming is that some guys just lube up a little and lie there, expecting the top to find (force) his way in, and that can hurt - a lot. From the bottoms perspective it helps to bear down slightly, in the same way as you would during a bowel movement. Doing this while the top enters you (with plenty of lube) allows for easier penetration because everything isn't clamped shut.

 

I'm, definitely, no expert on this. But, I will say this much. Size matters in this case. Bluntly, if the other guy is larger, you may want more lube or if you are doing it a long time and different positions you may find you can have a longer session by applying more lube. or, a longer lasting lube. Some guys are just OK with a little more friction. We're all different. When I top, I like a lot of lube because too much friction is not my thing and I don't like quickies. When I bottom, it depends on the guy's size, shape, energy and length of the f**k. All things being equal, I like silicone but it can stain sheets and you can use it in the shower.and you have to be sure you have a compatible condom.

 

Sounds like maybe you're a natural!

I've become a lube addict for other playing. Frottage is a great way for two guys to get intimate when intercourse is not so great like camping or on a bike ride or something like that. A little silicone lube can make this VERY fun!

Since we're talking about getting slippery, coconut oil is incredible but does not work with latex condoms.

 

J-lube.

For the adventurous bottom.

 

@I’mStillStanding
I want to try gun oil too now, I’ve seen it before but never tried it.

 

The great thing about coconut oil is that it doesn't taste bad too. Because I like to give massages first, followed by sensuous touch, then oral and finally maybe intercouse. So, for the whole evening , it is a great lube. Just get the poly condoms that don't degrade with oil if you need them. As far as an anal sex lube, I've never tried it without a supplemental lube.

Neither KY type lubes or silicone are very good for giving a massage IMO. I don't think there is an issue with using multiple types of lube unless one will degrade condoms.

 

Look for the refined stuff. I like the solid rather than the liquid because you can put it in the fridge. It's cold and warms up as you rub it it. Quite the sensual experience to have someone apply that to you. The coconut smell is not strong.

I had a guy use the real coconut butter on me once and now I can't go near a dessert table without potentially embarrassing myself.

 

As I recently out gay guy, and one that's still a gay virgin I am Abit freaked out by this thread....I nearly tried anul last week and hadn't thought about lube. But now I'm freaked about lube and what condoms will work with the lube.
It felt natural to try anul but we didn't because condoms not to hand, just moved but it's only a matter of time. Tops are givers right? And bottoms receive? Sorry I'm still learning and enjoying my gay sexual revolution....lol....

 

Pretty much as you said it. There are some finer details about what it means to be a top and bottom, but you've got the gist of it. No need to say sorry either - we all need to learn somewhere. I was as green as grass when I first came out and nearly all of the advice I offer here comes from learned experience.

Don't freak out too much about lube. If you buy from a reputable source it's all likely to be okay with condoms.

 

Hey

I'm pretty new at m2m myself. As far as lube is concerned, the stuff made for "personal lubrication" is safe for condoms. So, just buy a bottle of the silicone and the water based and try it on yourself and you will find what feels best for you. Next hookup, bring both bottles. You don't have to have intercourse to appreciate how lube can make play more fun. In fact, it's a good way to learn what you and your lover like. I'm rather fond of lubed up frottage. You can get so close to a man and have wonderful orgasms without the stress of doing anal sex and all the worry associated with that. Move on to intercourse only when you want to and it feels right. There is not a requirement to f**k if you are a gay man.

The first time I bottomed (or received), I was actually on top so I could control the pace. I, pretty much, controlled everything including putting the condom on the guy and applying the lube. I would recommend this approach because it is so much less stressful and you can maintain eye contact with your lover which is really special. And, your lover will appreciate that you are doing something that you really want to do and not feeling forced into it.

The problem with incompatibiity is when you start using household products like oils (coconut oil) on latex condoms. So, if you are doing this. Moving from a massage to anal sex be careful about this. You can always take a shower between activities and that can be another way to explore and be comfortable with your first time.

Remember that you own your sexual experiences and it is OK to take it a little bit at a time. It can make it so much better.

 

Just to clarify a bit here.

The only thing you really have to worry about lube and condoms is that you cannot use oil based lubes with condoms because it will break down the latex.

Water based lube and silicone based lube are perfectly safe for condoms.

If you are going to play with silicone toys, then use a water based lube because the silicone lube will destroy the toy.

Here is an image that might help you out. If you have questions feel free to ask! We were all in your shoes once

Spoiler: Lube Guide

 

Personally, I'm a big fan of the company #########, they make a special "cumlube" which is relatively cheap, high quality stuff. It's supposed to be really good fir anal and has helped me with the amount aspect since the thick viscosity doesn't allow it to absorb into the skin as fast as ky does. It also smells better than the usual rubbing alcohol smell ky puts out.

 

Odd, I've never had a problem with KY lube. The problem I have is my wife is allergic to coconut, so anything using it as a base is a big no go.
I have used astroglide a few times and it works rather well.