Okay, so I came here when I was questioning my sexual orientation and it was very interesting, really. I'm just a little worried because I'm not sure if it's a good idea to come out as bisexual as accurate as this label is to describe my feelings and experiences. I'm saying this because I often feel like I'm "not bi enough". My attraction towards the binary genders flunctuates a lot and work in very different ways to the point I wonder if I'm not monosexual. I'm going to give a few examples... Well, I never felt any desire to kiss/touch/have sex with any guy, maybe just a few times. I also can't talk dirty about women like most female lovers that I know. So... With such mixed signs, how do you figure out how you actually work? Did you ever had to deal with something like this? Is this a normal thing to bisexual people?
I can relate. Bisexual is likely the best description for my sexuality, but... I'm not super keen on having actual sex with men to be honest. The thing is I use to have zero interest in sex with women, but I've worked through that. So I now can recognize what sexual attraction is and I am attracted to men... but things aren't clear. Maybe ask yourself if you have any hangups about sex? Negative messages about sex, men, or women? Is your culture/family not accepting? Are you uncomfortable with nudity? Experiences with assault or abuse? Do you feel like a bad person for feeling sexually towards others? If you don't have any hangups, maybe just recognize that you're bisexual but also a unique person. You don't have to talk dirty to express your sexuality, you don't have to pursue men even if you're attracted to them, just be yourself and be happy.
I have received very negative messages about men in general and my past experiences with them didn't help and I also believe that women shoudln't be so sexualized... Are those things really able to change the way my sexuality works or is it just how I am?
The things you mentioned can have an affect, even more so for cis females because our sexual attraction and arousal are more dependent on emotional and psychological factors. There are things like trauma, denial, homophobia, etc that can have an impact, but less noticeable things like stress, mood, guilt, values, disgust, etc that effect things too. I want to be clear, it doesn't "change" your sexuality. Emotional and psychological factors just hinder or heighten the expression of your sexuality. It's something to be aware of and something you can address. I recommend doing research on "Sexual arousal in women". I have found reading basic information about how sex and arousal works for women helpful but also researching how different psychological factors come into play. I wish I had a more comprehensive article, but these articles might be a good start: arousal in women and psychologytoday I do want to emphasize though, not every woman is the same. If something isn't to your liking that doesn't mean something is wrong. Like I said, you are your own unique person.
Thanks a lot for your help. Well, I just figured out I have some sort of "HOCD" thing, so I'm completelly back to the questioning phase. I'll be back again once I'm less distressed, I guess.
