1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Looking for advice

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Simple Thoughts, Jul 12, 2018.

  1. Simple Thoughts

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio
    First of all...wow this sites totally gone through a redesign since I was last on her. That's going to require some adjusting I think. @.@


    So a few days ago I sort of randomly tweeted out that I was considering talking to a doctor? Therapist? Whoever you talk to about about the possibility of HRT when I get re-enrolled in my work place's health insurance policy come January.

    If this first paragraph isn't any indication I only have so much knowledge about this. I don't have many trans friends ( or friends in general ) and honestly I'm not fully sure what I'm doing or what I want. I just know that the more I learn and the more I think about the more I find myself moving in the direction of transition. I don't know if that means a full transition and one day surgery, or if that just means starting HRT and leaving it be there, but I'm just at a point where I can't keep pretending like there isn't some part of me ( or maybe all of me ) that isn't entirely happy with how I am now.

    Anyways...after tweeting that out the other day I keep finding myself thinking about it now. I keep imagining what it'll be like, what will happen, how I'll look. I don't know what to expect or what I'm hoping for even. I just find it a strangely nice thing to be thinking about and I guess that's good...Today I've actually been thinking about names. Like...my name is unisex so would I just keep that or maybe a new name? I've always been fond of the name Melody, but it's also kind of a weird name that you don't hear often so maybe something more normal like a Jessica or something? I dunno....I could always just keep my name too the only other Blake I've ever heard of in my life was that actress from the movie about traveling pants.

    So umm...that's enough rambling. I don't know what exactly I'm looking for here. I guess mostly just a bit of confirmation that I'm on the right track ( or maybe the opposite? ) and also some suggestion and advice since I don't know all that much about how this all works. I have until January to figure everything out so I'm not feeling too pressured. The error with my health insurance being convenient for once lol
     
  2. Hawk

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    10,435
    Likes Received:
    214
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I think talking to a councilor/therapist would be a good place to start. You don't have to have everything figured out right away, talk with a therapist, and if you want (or need to) you can always progress with more things as you see fit. Also, if you have anyone in your life that you can confide in, I'd recommend experimenting with names/pronouns and see how it feels. You can even go to retail stores (Starbucks) and use your chosen name to hear how it sounds.

    Honestly, I think having a name that isn't overly common is nice actually. When I chose my name, I never saw anyone else with it, up until a little while ago. What are you more comfortable with? Are you okay with your name or would you like something more feminine?

    If you're still kind of questioning, you can always transition via your expression and see how you like it. Get some feminine clothes, makeup, hair ties/clips, etc.
     
    Simple Thoughts and Hanyauku like this.
  3. Simple Thoughts

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio
    I plan to in January. Our work health insurance I believe covers mental health so I'd possibly be able to actually afford seeing a councilor at the time, and I was going to discuss options as far as HRT goes. They might even suggest something else entirely I dunno. I'm just growing increasingly more convinced that this is what I want. I really don't know what else to say on it. I've always been kind of flirting with the possibility at least since I was like 15ish and beyond, but this is the firs time where I think I've kind of gone a little further than teasing the idea and I'm actually giving it serious consideration which is probably a good thing.

    It can be nice, but I worry that it would be kind of weird of a thing to do. I guess it's a sort of fear of judgement type thing. I dunno.

    I'm working on that honestly. I mean trying to. I've been working really hard on fixing my diet and exercising more. I still have a good way to go, but I've gone from 210lbs down to 200lbs and I'm hoping that I can keep that progress going steady...I know it's stupid but I have a lot of body confidence issues already and I don't think I could bring myself to try on feminine clothing until I felt confident in my weight. I have, however, been growing my hair out for a really long time and I'm wondering if maybe it's time to start looking into styling it...even though I don't know the first thing about that.
     
  4. DreamerAsh

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2018
    Messages:
    207
    Likes Received:
    97
    Location:
    Oklahoma
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I understand the fear of judgement, but hey you're just starting hormones. It's a part of what you want for yourself, and that's all that matters. And as for not knowing much about being trans. Well you're always welcome to talk to me and ask me any questions. And that's not entirely true, you do have trans friends. You have me as a friend and whole family of other tranfolk here to help you on your journey. As for hair styles. Why don't you look up some women hairstyles and see which ones you like and give it a try. I'm sure you'll find something wonderful. Wishing you luck on your journey~
     
    Simple Thoughts and Hanyauku like this.
  5. Simple Thoughts

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio
    Thank you. I really appreciate you being so supportive. It's nice to know =)

    I won't actually be starting them until I can get back onto my work's health insurance plan in January, and even then I don't really know much about the process and how it works...there could be a waiting period. I'm not sure. Actually, does anyone know about that? Is there usually a waiting period for someone to start HRT?

    That's not a bad idea. I do have more than enough hair to experiment a bit :3
     
  6. denouement

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2015
    Messages:
    217
    Likes Received:
    26
    Location:
    Riften
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    When I picked my name, I went to a baby names website, wrote down ALL the names I liked, then went through and eliminated until I was left with the best. There are so many options so why not look at as many as possible? And you can consider things like popularity for your birth year, meaning, ease of spelling, etc. as well.

    Since it sounds like you're still somewhat deciding on HRT, I'll second talking to a therapist first. How long it takes from there to getting hormones seems to depend on the therapist/doctor you go to.... I've heard times from a few weeks to over a year dependant on those factors. Once you're sure you want to start, you might also look into informed consent providers if they're available in your area. I took that route; had one doctor's visit to do bloodwork and go over the details of exactly what T would do, and then I had a prescription.

    As far as hair, even though I like having short hair, sometimes I watch hair tutorials... Videos on "5 minute" or "back to school" hairstyles for short/medium/long hair (whatever length you have) seem like a good place to start if you're not sure what styles you like or haven't done much with it before.

    Good luck!
     
  7. Simple Thoughts

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio
    That's not a bad idea. I think I know which name I like the most already though. I've always sorta known which name I like the most. I'm just thinking too hard and letting myself worry too much about what other people would think :3

    I think I know what I want for sure, but you're right. I think I should talk to a therapist first before I do anything. Besides, I have plenty of other problems in my life so it might be good for me to do so. It's never bad to take care of your mental health anyways

    I'm scheduling a salon appointment for today...I could ask them, but I dunno I'm also a little nervous on that front still. Kind of more of a 'keep to myself' thing still...umm but I was planning on asking if they do manicures there. I've managed to train myself away from nail biting, but now my nails are badly shaped and break way more than I'd like. I was hoping to see if maybe a manicure might at least help a little and I finally have some bit of length in my nails for them to work with...I dunno.
     
  8. Simple Thoughts

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    3,376
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Ohio
    Update: I asked the lady at the Salon, and I don't think she realized what I wanted but she did layer my hair a bit so I guess that's a start for now :slight_smile: