Hi everyone, just wanted to post a little about myself. I always knew i was attracted to both men and women. I remember back in elementary school. In elementary school, I had crushes on both boys and girls, even though at my Baptist upbringing told me I should be ashamed, and I was the worst kind of sinner. Growing up i was very confused, and the first time I kissed another boy, I felt so guilty, and was aware that if my parents found out, they would probably disown me. Throughout high school i dated a few girls, and really loved being with them. I also had a boy that I would regular get with, and he taught me many things. After school, I had to get away, so I joined the military, and in those first 4 years I only had a relationship with a man, who was probably 15 years older than me, and I love every minute of it, although I still felt all the guilt that was bread into me. I met a wonderful woman after my enlistment was up, and we have been married for 26 awesome years, but I always his my attraction to other men. Without getting into many details, we invited a few friends over, although I never did anything south then. Then about 3 years ago, I was out with a few friends, got a little too inebriated, and when I got home, I told my wife about my attraction to guys. She has been really supportive, and I now wonder why I waited so long. I feel so much better not having to hide my true self and I feel lucky to have a great partner.
Welcome to EC. Great to hear your success story in coming out to your wife. I've not come out to anyone yet, but I keep asking myself why it's important to me to tell my wife about something that has been there in some form all along, yet we've survived this long without it affecting our relationship. I've come to accept me, but I'm scared that she'll think that my coming out is a siren that our relationship is about to change for the worse. It's all just so tiring to hide the fact though. Since finding this site a couple of weeks ago, I've been scrutinising my life and recognise that I've been living with shame and guilt for most of it, simply due to those to whom I have been attracted. I think I've managed to shed the shame, but the guilt is still there because I'm still very firmly in the closet. That said, as other men have said on here, they eventually come out to a wife who had sussed it out themselves much earlier.
Kp74…..Hello and a big LGBTQIA+ welcome to Empty Closets! I can remember the first post that I made on EC. I was desperate for help and I got the help that night that I so needed. I hope that we can help you in the same way that I received help. The most important thing to remember about Empty Closets is that we do care about you! We're very glad that you found us here on EC and hope that we can answer questions, give you support and provide a place to vent (as long as it's not violent! ) when that becomes necessary! This is a safe community of loving, caring and very supportive people and we will do our best to help you blend into the community. As we have members from 13 years old and older, please keep that in mind as you make your posts. *****There are 18 different sub-forums here that you can check out, join in the conversations or start your own thread/conversation. When I first joined Empty Closets I was in need of a lot of support and encouragement and I found it here…EC is a safe place. I hope that you'll find good things here too! Folks here will talk to you and share...you don't have to be afraid of asking questions...we're glad to have you! Empty Closets is all about making connections and giving LGBTQ folks a voice when they otherwise don't have one in their day-to-day lives. *****In particular you may want to check out the forums that are titled “Sexual Orientation” and "LGBT Later in Life". There are people there who may have dealt with some of the same kind of issues that could be challenging you. Some info on how to navigate EC: When you have made at least 10 posts on various threads you will be able to post messages on a member's Profile Page. Just click on a member's Avatar Picture and then click on "Profile Page" in the dialogue box that pops up. You'll then be on their Profile Page and there will be a box that says: "Write Something”. When you have been on EC for a few weeks and have made at least 50 posts on various forums, you can apply for Full Membership. Only A Full Member can send Private Messages (PM) and then only to other Full Members and share personal contact info. Right now you can only send a PM to a Staff Member as that is always possible. Here is a quote from the Full Membership information forum: *****To be eligible you must be a member of Empty Closets for a minimum of two weeks, and have a minimum of 50 posts. These posts must be across numerous forums (Fun & Games does not contribute to post count), and consistently posted across a minimum of two weeks. You wouldn't be eligible, for example, if you registered, had no activity for two weeks, and then returned to post 50 times on your 14th day of membership. *****Well, as I said, we're very glad you found us! If you have any questions at all, you can send me a Private Message as you can always send a staff member a Private Message. …..David
