Hey everyone, looking for some help here. Throughout the last month or so, I became very close with a girl who I met at my college. There was a mutual attraction there from pretty much the beginning and we flirted heavily before confessing our interest in one another. Things have, honestly, moved pretty fast - We've said I love you and I know that we've both meant it. It feels very "real," contrasting with other relationships I've been in where I was pretty much in it for superficial reasons (because I wanted to date somebody, or we had things in common and "should" have clicked), and I am so happy with her. I feel so much adoration, gratitude, and admiration for her. Things are not always perfect, but she makes them pretty close to being so; when errors arise, she is receptive and apologetic, and truly is one of the kindest people I've met. I really, really, want to see where things go. . . But she is moving. She earned her degree this quarter and is leaving the country for the summer- She will come back in the fall for further education, but she will not be anywhere near me. We've both agreed that we would like to give long distance a try, that there is a potential here we do not want to let go of. Some things we've already discussed are: Facetiming at least twice a week, writing letters, and texting during designated times (the timezone difference is pretty drastic, unfortunately, at least for the summer). I have been in a LDR before, where it was the reverse situation: We met initially online and developed a relationship that felt "real" via cyber/text communications before eventually meeting in person. During this situation, the relationship crumbled, I think for a few reasons: She was questioning her sexual orientation (will not be a problem in this relationship though), couldn't handle the distance, and couldn't make enough time to communicate regularly once we both got busy (which contributed to problem #2. I just want to know how to keep an LDR going strong! Thank you!
It sounds like you've off to a good start already, discussing how you'd like things to go. My LDR is the reverse situation—we started out online while at separate colleges, met in person about six months in, and she's spent most of the last two years on the other side of the world. We've been together almost four years now, are engaged, and moving in together in August. LDRs are hard but they can work if you're both committed to it. Time zones suck, especially at first. There's an adjustment period going from being able to talk at any time to only overlapping during certain hours. But eventually you get used to it. It's ten in the morning here and I just said good night to my fiancee. Communication is the most important thing. It's vital to any relationship, but in an LDR it's really the only thing you have. If something's wrong, you have to be able to talk about it and it sounds like the two of you are doing just fine there. I also strongly believe that the long-distance part should have an expiration date. That doesn't mean you need to know now when you can be together again, just to know that it's a possibility. My fiancee was in a very serious relationship with another girl in a different country that only ended because neither of them were ever willing to move.
hey. ive been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for almost three years. it was the opposite situation, we met online and became close friends and then admitted attraction some years later. weve met in person twice. i feel like your description of how you feel about her mirrors the way i feel about him. like said above, communication is key. we talk every day and call often, stream movies together, play games, have sweet little conversations over text before falling asleep, etc. (though your timezones might not be synced up enough for that) it seems like youre on a good track right now. the main thing is just communication, which seems like a bit of a given but its an important one
If you have her number, make sure to have frequent texts and calls. Communication is by far the most important thing.
