I think I'm officially over loving all the alone time of being single amd just having space. After ending a 5+ year relationship a couple months ago I find myself extremely lonely. Over the span of my relationship I also managed to drift away from all of my friends aside from one who I always kept in touch with because he seemed to be the only one who wanted to keep in touch, lol. But he's way too toxic for me to be hanging around with, for the first time hanging out in years we got wasted and he tried his to best to get me to hookup with a married woman, so probably not hanging out with him again for awhile. And I don't really want to reach out to any of my other old friends, they all have lives now, most are married with children, or have moved hours upon hours away. Not to mention I dont really wanna be the girl who is only messaging and trying to hangout because she's lonely now when after all the years I didn't make an effort. Ugh. It really sucks being lonely, and this feels like an entire new level of lonely. I live in a rural southern town so there's not a ton of options on places to meet people to make new friends, and there's definitely no options on meeting fellow lesbians. Not that I'm actively seeking a relationship anyway. I keep finding myself hanging out with my ex which may not be a good thing, but I do still love her as a friend, and she still wants to be more than friends. So ultimately my loneliness leads me into bad decisions and doing things I don't want and know I shouldn't be doing. Yet the cycle continues because I have absolutely no idea of how to not be lonely or make friends near me. Any advice appreciated, but I'm not expecting anything, just kind of wanted to rant about it. Thanks.