This is just a rant/venting post :rolle: Here I am, wrapping presents and then writing on the label, To: Sibling From: AHhh nevermind... I'll just leave the from out. No chance in any universe or dimension will I put my birthname, but... it would take away the fun entirely if I put my real name down. Out of the 10 others in my family (including spouses) only 2 are supportive. I don't want to burden those two with this, though. They have more than enough to deal with already. But overall, there is a major unspoken rift between myself and my family. And there's absolutely nothing I can do about it. Here I am, 15 months or so on T... I have to live with my parents, currently. I get in these depressive episodes (not entirely trans-related, mind, but sure doesn't help ofc) that can leave me in a state where it can get hard to take care of my basic needs. So moving out? Not an option. And no, can't move in with the 2 who are supportive, I'm allergic to their children (cats). Been going to the gym with one sibling. I've been changing in the general bathroom like some lowlife who doesn't belong anywhere. (not saying others who do this are low-lifes, but this is how I feel like in my particular situation). I have to make sure my sibling is not around when I go to get changed because that would bring much unwanted attention to the matter. It's not like anyone is outright mean or rude to me beyond them calling me she and brithname. In every other way we get along just fine but this... Well, you know. Anyways, like I said... I know there's nothing I can do about this. They will never change. I can't force them to. But this is hell all the same =/ Know what I mean? Bah. And the way people who knew me before react to me... tactfully. But you see that look on their face. :icon_roll Okay, I'm done now lol
I know how that feels. I'm in much the same situation. It gets exhausting, even when I don't talk openly about it. Even if I didn't have to worry about being transgender, I would feel frustrated at living with my family. I want to be starting a career and making my own way in the world, not sitting around at home all the time. Just stay strong. Even if you feel completely unmotivated sometimes, try to do things that will move you closer to an independent life. One day you'll get there, and you can live freely as a man.
It's tough, none of my family is really all that supportive per se (even if they claim to be), so it's just me having to muddle through the days, just stay strong man *hugs*
I know how that feels. It's like your 'spheres' of transition don't all line up, like you've made personal steps forward but family just won't acknowledge it and it's just sucky all around