1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Living in a State of Infatuation

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Dionysios, May 31, 2019.

  1. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I've already broken the ice and met his family. Now we are planning a visit to my hometown so he can see where I grew up and meet my family. At our age we joked that we are beyond playing games and are serious about deepening our relationship.
     
    bearheart, Oldguy55 and JToivonen like this.
  2. JToivonen

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2019
    Messages:
    245
    Likes Received:
    160
    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    This is SO inspiring! Thanks for posting!
     
    Dionysios likes this.
  3. maybgayguy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2015
    Messages:
    218
    Likes Received:
    64
    Location:
    MN
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I just want to say that I love this line. It is such a sweet, normal but wonderful sentiment. So glad that you are enjoying being out!
     
    JToivonen and Dionysios like this.
  4. Nickw

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2016
    Messages:
    2,335
    Likes Received:
    1,395
    Location:
    Out West
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Some people
    This still amazes me a bit how quickly you were able to find someone that you are doing so well with. Two weeks ago, you were totally new at this and now a steady boyfriend.

    This seems to be a fairly common thing, I've seen, with middle aged guys who come out. We tend to be able to find relationships relatively easily compared to the guys who are much younger. I'm not sure what it is.

    This sounds a little odd to say. But, my boyfriend just cannot find anyone to share his life but an older married guy. I don't want to diminish what he and I have. But, it just seems so much harder for him to find a match. Me....If I were single I would have my choice of a dozen or so guys I've met. I wonder if, having been married, we just have learned to negotiate relationships more easily? Or, is it because we are anxious to explore this part of our lives and realize time is important so we are motivated? Do we look beyond superficial appearances more readily?

    In no way do I mean to diminish what you and your bf have. Just because it happened so fast doesn't mean it isn't real. It just seemed so easy for you when a lot of younger guys have so much difficulty finding what you found. However it came to be, I am so happy for you!
     
    Oldguy55 and Dionysios like this.
  5. Dionysios

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2018
    Messages:
    662
    Likes Received:
    576
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My friend there is a lot of truth in what say. Personally, I can scarcely believe how quickly all this has unfolded myself. Both my bf and I have mentioned this that all this seems like a delightful dream. We have barely known each other a month. Yet while neither of us had intended to hook up, we were both ready for a serious relationship at this point in our lives.

    Being older and having been in long-term relationships ourselves, we know what we want. I think that we are both confident in ourselves, our careers and in our future goals. We have learned the importance of good communication skills and don't worry about the small, external stuff. We are not playing games as so many younger people do. I think that my bf and I are both more patient to learn, more forgiving when when we discover imperfections, and more willing to invest emotionally and make sacrifices for the sake of the other.

    Forgive the generalization, but the younger crowd may be too unsure of what they want, too timid to take chances or too emotionally inexperienced to handle deep, serious relationships. Some of the older gay guys I have met are not very complimentary toward the younger LGBT crowd. They describe them as being interested in drugs and sex. That's unduly harsh but it may contain an element of truth about it. Perhaps all of these reasons explain why so many younger LGBT folks cannot find long- term happiness with a partner.
     
    JToivonen likes this.
  6. brainwashed

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2014
    Messages:
    2,115
    Likes Received:
    469
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I see / catch myself saying I do not want another friend all the time. I say and feel, I want companionship & love.

    (lol) Dripping post! (just like a damn teenager - act your age!)
     
    #26 brainwashed, Jun 4, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2019
    Dionysios likes this.
  7. greatwhale

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2013
    Messages:
    6,582
    Likes Received:
    411
    Location:
    Montreal
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi Dionysos,

    So happy for you! A propos; I recently learned of this beautiful quote (my bold):

    "Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.”
    ― Louis de Bernières, Corelli's Mandolin