1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Living in a dorm as a trans person (ftm)

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by matt4907, Dec 3, 2018.

  1. matt4907

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2016
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm currently in my senior year of college and I live in a dorm with friends that I've lived with for the past 3 years. I started transitioning last year and Student Life tried to get me to move out and into a male dorm but I fought it and I fought it again this year to be able to stay with my friends even though it's still technically a female dorm. The further I get in my transition, the more uncomfortable I get living in a female dorm. I live as stealth now and I can't talk to anyone about who my roommates are because that automatically outs me (I go to a catholic school where all housing is same-gender). Even coming back to my dorm at the end of the day and knowing that it's a female dorm has been making my dysphoria really bad and I don't like spending time here anymore. I'm considering moving out but these are my best friends and I wanna spend the remaining part of senior year with them.

    Does anyone else have any experience living in a dorm as a trans person? Did you decide to live with people of the same gender as you or with people who are the same gender as you were assigned at birth? Or did you do something completely different?
     
    AlexJames likes this.
  2. Hawk

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    10,468
    Likes Received:
    216
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Have you asked your friends if they've considered moving out into an apartment or basement suite with you? Or does your college require students to live on campus?
     
    #2 Hawk, Dec 3, 2018
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2018
  3. matt4907

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2016
    Messages:
    66
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My school requires everyone to live on campus. So my options at this point are to stay where I am now, move into male housing, or move into a single room (if there are any available single rooms left)
     
  4. Hawk

    Moderator Full Member

    Joined:
    May 12, 2015
    Messages:
    10,468
    Likes Received:
    216
    Location:
    Alberta
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Which area would make you more comfortable? And are friends allowed to visit opposite-sex dorms?

    If your concern is that you want to be with your friends in your final year, can you hang out in other areas of the campus to be with them during the day? You can use your dorm to sleep and eat (whether your choose the male or bachelor dorm), and hang out and study with your friends in other parts of the campus.