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Letting go hurts

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by Mayte117, May 30, 2018.

  1. Mayte117

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    I guess I just need to make this post. The married woman who had feelings for me and I have said our goodbyes. I made the choice to never tell her what I felt and at peace with that. I am glad that it didn't proceed past a friendship, but i'm sad that this friendhship had to terminate. She had sent me a text message letting me know that we would no longer be able to go to park together because her husband would be home that day. Her husband saw the text message and assumed something else was going on. Although she told him the truth about everything, he does not believe that we never had sex or a romantic relationship.

    She is still attempting to fix her marriage's intimacy problem. She told me that she will quit therapy because she will no longer have time to attend the sessions, but will continue couple therapy at the church. In order to focus on her marriage, her husband the church's minister requested that she ends her friendship with me. I believe this is the best thing to do. I just wish I wouldn't have let my feelings prevent me from ending this sooner. We both knew that this friendship wouldn't work on the long term. I just hoped it would have ended slowly on its own and I feel so bad that I made things so much worst for her and her marriage. We will no longer contact each other and it hurts.
     
  2. quebec

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    Mayte117....It seems that you understand that this has to end. I know that doesn't make it any easier. So many times our heart and our head don't agree with each other. We know what to do but don't want to or we do what we shouldn't. In your case you did the right thing even though your heart wanted a different outcome. As human beings that's what we go through so often. Hopefully time will make this easier...and who knows what the future will hold for you.
    .....David :gay_pride_flag:
     
    Peterpangirl and LostInDaydreams like this.
  3. SoulSearch

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    I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how much it hurts. I hope you'll be able to move through this. Do you have in-real-life friends who can support you? Be gentle with yourself.
     
  4. Bazinga87

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    I'm sorry you have to go through this. I couldn't imagine what you feel. I may be playing devil's advocate but maybe she is going through the restart of her coming out. I know I delayed and pushed and prodded over my years trying to make it work with my wife. Don't wait for her if you find someone but also don't turn your back if she reaches out to open up. Be honest about how you will be there but distance any romantic feelings at that point. Wait for her to make a decision. She may already have but be there for her if needed and work for your best self too
     
  5. Jakebusman

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    I'm sorry this had to happen
     
  6. SoulSearch

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    How are you doing?