i have been trying to write a letter to explain to my parents. it's been really hard, and i've gone through several versions. i realise this is probably way too long/negative/accusatory/detailed/i don't know what, but it feels like the only honest expression of my feelings atm. Dear Mum and Dad, These last few months you may have noticed I have growing very unhappy. There is something important which has been on my mind. You may find this suprising, and I’m sorry to put you through this, but I have come to the realisation that I’m gay. I think I have always had these feelings; I’ve just been repressing them for many years. I desperately wanted to be normal. I could point out times from years ago that could have been clues, but I don’t know if it would be helpful. This last year, I’ve finally opened up and thrown off the terror that surrounded sex when I was small. And once I had done that, I’ve had to admit to myself that I am, seemingly, a lesbian, although that feels like declaring myself an alien. I’ve become unable to ignore the feelings that have been growing. I’m not saying I’m ruling out boys completely, but it’s pointless to pretend I’d want a boyfriend when I’d really prefer a girlfriend any day. Many gay people only come out when they’re 18 or 20, having gone through a miserable teenage life. I have had a taster of that these last few months and I don’t want to go through that. I want to be honest with you now. Even if I later realise it was a fabled “phase”, that’s better than continuing this hiding. At the beginning of the year, Dad, we were having a conversation, and you assured me you knew I wasn’t gay. I just grunted and steered off the topic, remember? Well, I’m sorry, and I wish I wasn’t saying this, but you were wrong Dad. I think I am a lesbian. I’m actually crying as I write this. I’m so sorry and I really hate myself. I still love you both so much though and I hope my actions demonstrate that. I’m not doing this to hurt you or shock you – I wish I wasn’t saying it. But I want to be honest with you, and I hope that you will continue to be as supportive as you always have been, and can try to understand some of what I have been going through. I’m still the same person I always was, I’m just finally being honest with you and myself. Lots of love, from Helena i know i probabaly shouldn't put that i hate myself and whatever, but it's the truth and i can't think of a more honest way to put it. i don't want to write a "perfect" letter that doesn't express what i really feel. i don't know when i'll give it to them. i might not give it at all, if a chance comes up to just tell them face to face. but if you can see any enormous mistakes or turn-offs, please tell me.