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Let's talk about virginity

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by AJ56, May 12, 2017.

  1. Shoei Loei

    Shoei Loei Guest

    Are you still a virgin: No, but I've never had any kind of sexual penetration, and I don't have any desire or intention to do so. I don't prefer penetration to be honest.

    When did you lose it: I was about 20 when I had my first relationship, my first kiss, and lost my virginity. It wasn't a bad experience, but it wasn't what I expected either. Honestly, I was with a man at that time in my life, as I wasn't really exploring my sexuality or feelings at that time out of fear. But I've never really been into intimacy or having sex with men...I guess I always knew I preferred women, but I just didn't begin to acknowledge that I was a lesbian until recently.

    Did you regret it later on: I don't regret my first long term relationship...we were very good friends, and I never had bad experiences with him. It just wasn't what I wanted, but it was still a good experience and I learned more about myself through it nonetheless. I did have a very short fling with another man that I do regret...that was sort of the final realization that I needed to make a change, acknowledge my sexuality, and start making myself happy instead of trying to conform to herteronormativity.

    Would you be ok with dating a virgin: Absolutely, I would be more than happy to date a virgin. As a lesbian woman who is not fully out, and who has never been with another woman (yet), I would love to experience sex with another woman who is just as inexperienced as I am. Then we could both feel safe, comfortable, more relaxed, and we could learn together. But at my age, it's hard to come by virgins who are around my age, and it's tough exploring sexuality in my late twenties. I regret not exploring it sooner, but I guess I just have to look on towards the future with some hope :slight_smile:

    Bottom line, virginity and self-exploration knows no age; we all experience sex and sexuality differently throughout life. If you find someone who has the same level of experience as you do, then great! If you end up with someone more experienced, that's great too! As long as the person cares about you deeply, they'll be willing to support you and help you learn :slight_smile:
     
  2. Emma 123

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    phew! reading all of your comments made me feel so much better! I've been thinking about this a bit lately, since most of the people I know who are my age have lost their virginity, whilst I've never even kissed anyone. I thought girls would find me weird for being an 18yo virgin but from what I can read here, that doesn't seem to be the case :slight_smile: I would like to meet someone though, but all my female acquaintances are hetro...
     
  3. Justinian20

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    Am I still a Virgin: Kind of, I'm not a virgin with kissing but I have never been penetrated or had sex.
    Would I date a virgin: Yes because someone being a virgin isn't relevant at all as to whether I like them,
     
  4. Lambeau

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    Am I a virgin? Kind of. I had "sex" (if that's what you would call our short, awkward moment), with my girlfriend. This was about 4 or 5 months before I realized I was gay.

    I've never kissed a guy, let alone had sex with one, and I'm almost 22.

    Of course I would date a virgin. I'd rather date a virgin than someone who has been around the block many times.
     
  5. BothWaysSecret

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    I am 23 and a virgin in every sense of the word. Never been kissed. Never been on a date. Never had a relationship. Never had sex.

    Did I regret it later on: Not really applicable. However, I do have moments where I'm like "God, why am I still single? I just want someone dammit!" But for the most part I'm okay with it. It's more so the reactions of future partners that I'm worried about.

    Would I be okay with dating a virgin: Absolutely. Their status as a virgin has no effect as to whether I like them or not.
     
  6. Hemospectrum

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    Are you still a virgin? Yep. I've never had my first kiss. I had a one-month relationship with a boy and hated it. We never talked and avoided each other. It was extremely awkward too because I realized I was a lesbian halfway through the relationship. We're still friends though, luckily. He doesn't know I'm a lesbian. Don't want him to think I was playing him.

    Do you regret being a virgin> It's fitting I'm a virgin right now. Of course, one day I want to lose it, but that's the least of my priorities right now. I just want to focus on more important things in my life right now. Even after I get my first kiss, losing my virginity will be at the back of my mind. I rather do it with someone I love and care about rather than someone I don't really care about.

    Would you be ok with dating a virgin? Of course! Virgin or not, I don't care. They're still human and if I'm attracted to them, I am.
     
  7. Radioactive Bi

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    I stopped being a virgin when I was 20. I lost my virginity to a girl. The first time I went with a guy was a fair bit later as I married.

    Happy days :slight_smile:
     
  8. EFC

    EFC
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    31 year old and still waiting yes. Not a conscious thing, but a combination of being horrendously bad at men, and being one of those teenagers who wanted all her encounters to be special...

    Kissed less than a handful of men, only one of them I was seeing at the time (and we were 15, so it wasn't exactly a serious relationship) the second I met at a party and wanted to date afterwards, only for him to basically get bored of me asking so said he'd only done it because he wanted to get his end away...so binned him off. The 3rd, I still can't explain. A mutual friend on a night out when there was a big group of us, girls and guys so I knew him fairly well. I'd never showed an interest in him, and he'd never shown one in me. Think it was one of those nights when there just a mutual feeling of desperate loneliness so it happened. It never happened again and there was no awkwardness afterwards so I don't regret it. That was 5 years ago!

    I'm not embarrassed about being a virgin as such, I don't go around shouting it from the rooftops, but then of anyone asks me, I'm honest about it and nobody has yet had anything negative to say about it, or tried to change it! My only problem with it is that I feel the older i get, the more my lack of experience feels like it's holding me back, like I don't really know what to do in situations. That part bothers me, but then I imagine it still would had I got it out of the way in some random teenage hookup.
     
  9. KeanusGuitarus

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    Am I still a virgin? I like to say that I am, because I have never consented.
    Would I be ok with dating a virgin? Of course! Just like I'd enjoy playing video games with somebody who's never played that game or a game of its genre before. In fact, if they're too good you might just end up grumpy!

    I'm 20 too, and I'm a little bummed that I never have. I am just not a very social person, so there isn't much chance.
     
  10. GalleyGirl

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    Never lost my virginity, and really want my first time to be special, partly because am a little nervous about it! So for this reason would be very comfortable dating someone with no experience, but if I really love them then it doesn't really matter how much experience they do or don't have. So long as they respect the fact that I don't, and consider my first time something special.
     
  11. Loves books

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    I am 25 and still a virgin. I have never even kissed anyone which doesn't bother me that much I think kissing with tongues is gross. I wish I was more experienced because its going to make things really awkward when I do find someone I want to kiss. Sex however is pretty instinctual but I'm not worried it will happen when it happens I just hope it happens soon.
     
  12. The Escapist

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    Aww, it's nice to see so many people accepting of virginity and not making it into this weird unacceptable thing in a partner.
    I'm 23 and am a "virgin" and have not had my first kiss yet. Probably due to being a hermit, but as someone on the asexual spectrum it does get worrisome as you get older. Society still puts the pressure on you to have experience, even if it's not something that would benefit the actual person themself. So you start to feel like you "have to." Which is not a healthy mentality at all.
     
  13. blanb

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    Hi,
    I lost my virginity when I was 14. It can sound early but I felt ready and I still think it was the right moment to do it in my life.
    I don't regret it at all as I was in love with the guy, and still am, 5 years later we're still together and in love
     
  14. Mollyismyname

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    I'm a virgin and I'm 14, so no stress. Although... I feel like I'll loose my virginity in the next two years, because I'm going to a cosplay boarding school soon with a lot of other geeks and the general consensus is that we're single and ready to mingle.

    I also would consider dating a virgin absolutely, although I love the idea of a slightly more experienced and older girl "guiding" me, but this is just a weird pornographic fantasy I have.

    Also irrelevant for the topic, but I don't feel like ever coming out. I'm just planning on only going to have relationships with girls for the rest of my life, and then my parents will figure it out I guess. The reason is that I'm just so afraid of finding out I'm something else later, and I don't want to close that option.
     
  15. Shea

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    I fooled around with a neighbor my age for a while once which is why I joined here. We did oral some. Idk if that qualifies as losing virginity. I haven't been with anyone else since. He was totally the initiator. I'm far more geared to being by myself because of autism than in a relationship.
     
  16. Qwertuvle

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    Virgin and fairly indifferent towards said state of being. And I don't believe I'm so hypocritical that I would push away the affection of another virgin.