I'm female, and right now I identify as a lesbian, but my partner isn't a woman. I started out attracted to women (but had a really hard time admitting it to myself for years due to being bullied in my teenage years.) My first sexual experience was with woman, and while my girlfriend at the time wasn't a good partner for me due to many reasons, sex was enjoyable. I had a few 'boyfriends' over time, due to various pressures, but there was nothing there and I couldn't stand even kissing them. Though I didn't really want to admit it to myself or others, I honestly just prefer women sexually. A few years ago though I met my not-female partner, and they're still the love of my life. Our relationship is great- there is a lot of trust, affection, and a lot joy within this relationship that I have never experienced with anyone else before. I'm extremely attracted to them emotionally, physically, and sexually. I see a lot of people saying that I have to be bisexual because of this, but I honestly don't feel like I'm bi. I'm wondering if 'exceptions' are more common than led to believe? At least, I hope I'm not alone with all of this. I'm hoping to hear of similar experiences maybe?
One of my closest friends was married to a dude but told everyone including him that she is a lesbian... More recently, she married a woman and is very happy!
Lesbians can have an exception not all of us but some of us do it doesn't make the ones that do any less lesbian also this happens to straight women as well and they still identify as straight so why would a lesbian be any different plus like fortheloveoflez said it's only one man out of billions of women . Even a straight guy mad a thread about this happening to him and he's been straight all his life
I think you can be a lesbian with the odd exception. Plus you are just you. You shouldn't have to label yourself or feel like you have to fit in a certain category.
I always feel a bit silly picking a specific label, honestly. As a general rule I prefer men (married to my best friend who happens to be male), but women are hot too, and at one point we were a scant step from forming a permanent threesome with another woman. If I'd met the right gal before I met the right guy? Who knows.
Well, yeah, look at my profile :icon_wink I think it's possible. I've been with a guy for a long time but still I label myself lesbian because except him I'm not attracted to any other man and just the idea about being intimate with any other man is not appealing to me. On the other hand I'm attracted to women quite often. It's like MEN team 1 vs WOMEN team 1000, haha
For the most part, I consider myself either bi with a female preference or a lesbian with exceptions. I can develop emotional bonds with men, but past that I have little or no interest in going further so I consider myself(if I am asked) for the most part a lesbian. But don't feel pressured into a label, and don't let others tell you what they think you should be labeled as. Only you know who you are
Sorry for the bump, but I'm having this same issue right now. All my life (since I was 14) I've felt exclusive attraction to women and identified as lesbian (goldstar). Never done anything with men before, and didn't want to as I am not attracted to "masculinity" at all (e.g. ripped muscles, short hair, facial hair, stocky body). (Incidentally, I'm not attracted to really "butch" women/lesbians either.) However, the past week I saw an oldie classic film for the first time, and was EXTREMELY attracted to the fictional character who happens to be a somewhat effeminate male (played by a real actor; this is not a cartoon). I'm thinking, if this male character existed in real life, I'd be all over him (alas, there are pretty much no real-life men out there who be like him...translesbians would *probably* come the closest). So now I don't know if I should renounce my lesbian identity and call myself a bisexual instead, because although I can now see the possibility of my being attracted to cis men, I would only like them if they are *really* feminine.
I often feel that attraction is based on the person's character first (at least for me) and what genitals this person has is somewhat secondary. This type of character can be much more common among women than men but then you can meet an exception and it all just clicks. I find that I have a type in men and type in women and they are very similar (not overtly male/overtly female) so for me it's more about compatible personality and I don't really care what label this relationship fits
You're not alone. For the most part of my life -I'm 25- I had little interest in dating men. I had crushes here and there, but when they wanted to have sex I got angry, anxious and stopped dating them altogether. I just didn't want to have sex with them and their eagerness annoyed me. I think I was in denial all that time, because I watched lesbian porn all the time and my most arousing fantasies were about women. I tried fantasizing about men but it rarely aroused me enough, it felt forced more than anything but I did it anyway. Then when I got 20 I met online a man that was pretty awesome as a person. Warm, kind and had a caring almost woman-like vibe. I think I fell for him because I had dreams of getting married with him. But then again I might just have been looking for what society tells me I should look for-a good future husband. At some point last year I admitted to him what my thoughts and emotions about him have been and we agreed to remain friends, due to many factors. I still wonder if I'd be happy had we had a chance to be in a proper real-life relationship together. The fact that I'll never know drives me nuts. Because if it weren't for him I'd be content to label as lesbian without any second thoughts. I don't know if I felt genuine love in a 'in love' way really. And I don't know if I'll feel anything similar in the future about any man. In the meantime my head goes crazy about women. See? You're definitely not alone in your doubts.
