Hi- Ok, I have had this friend for some time. I love her to death, but I have been worried about her recently. She has been cutting her self, she claims over this boy, who just so happens to be my best friend. However, I cant help but feel that she is using him to hide the fact that she is a lesbian, or bi, or questioning. She gets really depressed, and is only happy when girls pay attention to her, or tell her she is pretty, etc. She loves getting hugs from another friend of ours (girl). She has never told me that she finds my best friend to be attractive, or that she wants to do anything sexually with him. Just that she likes him, and cuts her self about it. So, thats why I think she is a lesbian. She also lives in an environment where homosexuality would be looked down upon, and she is very afraid about telling anyone about her problems. I eluded to her that I am just fine with any type of sexuality, Is there anything else I can do? (I am getting her help about the cutting, I am looking for advice on the whether or not she is a lesbian issue.) Any advice would be appreciated. -Bryan PS- She doesn't know that I am gay.
You can approach the topic and see how she reacts, but in reality it's very hard to do anything without just asking her and hoping she admits it. If she is this insecure about it then she will not come out easily, and i don't think it would be good for us to give you advice on how to get her to come out when she clearly isn't ready to. At the moment she probably feels really isolated and lonely. Have you thought about coming out to her? At least then she may realise she is not alone and she may come out to you. That is not to say she will, but her doing so needs to be something she wants to do. I would say the biggest priority is getting her cutting habit sorted first though. Just try to avoid doing anything that could cause problems between you, especially if it turns out she isn't a lesbian and you thought she was. When she is emotionally vulnerable she will not be very happy about the idea of people wanting to know things about her despite them only wanting to help.
