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Left and came back

Discussion in 'The Welcome Lounge' started by Bluesteel, Jul 15, 2020.

  1. Bluesteel

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    California
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So I just wanted to start of by saying thank you Empty Closets you have completely changed my life forever.
    I joined EC 4 and a half years ago as "Questioning/Bi Sexual in a Heterosexual Marriage with kids"
    debating weather I should for one tell my wife or leave my marriage. and through the wonderful people on here I was safely able to talk to and relate to so many people who shared my same struggles. and i was able to better understand myself in a way that i didn't know was possible. and though I never never had any physical relations with a guy i had for the first time in my life come out to myself as gay. and decided to come out to my wife and that that was the key to my happiness. after I told her and she left me, i tried to fix my marriage because i was so devastated. my life completely blew up and I tried so hard to put myself back in the closet by saying I was really BI the whole time and that i could fix our marriage. but it never happened, and i got super depressed and vented on here often. until my life got really crazy and I stopped posting on EC... I just wanted to come back and give an update about where i am 4 years later, and yes it took that long for me to completely understand, learn, and feel confident in myself again. i went through a deep depression after me and my ex wife split. and through friends and my therapist i was able to slowly put my life together, and i had to figure out my sexuality witch in turn led me to be with both men and women. and realized i like to be with men more. and even though i know without a doubt that i am gay, i had to learn to respect the fact that i do find women attractive and beautiful and i can love them. i just cant love them the way i can love a man and that's OK. and now i have fell in love and been with the most amazing man for over a year and we are engaged. me and the ex wife are a place where we are civil and can have a good relationship for the kids, my kids love my fiancee and he loves them. and life couldn't be any better for me. and so in addition to a huge thank you, i wanted to let the new members know that for me it was absolutely worth it to go through the struggle of coming out and living authentically. i'm so happy being true to myself and i would not have it any other way. but listen to your own heart, and take comfort in the fact that you have a wonderful community not only here but in the real world as well. that no matter what will have your back. and that you are loved weather or not you ever come out of the closet.
     
  2. TJ

    TJ
    Community Facilitator Admin Team Full Member

    Joined:
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    Gay
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    Out to everyone
    That was a really heartening post to read, and I'm very thankful you came back and updated us on your life. I'm so happy to hear about how much things have changed for you, and about how happy you are. It's incredible how quickly change can happen.
    Thanks for posting how this site helped you. I wholeheartedly believe that this site (and others like it) are significantly effective in helping people make progress with understanding themselves, and it's so nice to hear it from someone firsthand.
    Hope to see you stick around and provide support for the future visitors. This site depends on people taking the time to respond and be there for others.
     
  3. smartaland

    Regular Member

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    Location:
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    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    welcome back! :fist:
     
  4. Bluesteel

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    California
    Gender:
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    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I would love to stick around and give my imput and advice when I can. I'm a firm believer in paying it forward. And I'll gladly share my experiences and stories with anyone, if it can in anyway help.
     
  5. Bluesteel

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Thank you :grin: