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Kinect Star Wars (Or How I know the world will be ending in 2012)

Discussion in 'Entertainment and Media' started by Shevanel, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. Shevanel

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    Before starting this, I just want to say I REFUSE to put this into Tech and Gaming because ... you'll see.

    Hi Guys. I really do regret to inform you that the world WILL be ending this year. How do I know this? Because Kinect Star Wars is being released. That's cool! Some might say, but oh no, you do not know what you are bringing upon us.

    I've always been a fan of Star Wars since I could retain memory. My Childhood was flooded with the original trilogy so much that I could quote just about all of it. Then the prequel trilogy happened... and they weren't as magical as the originals. Now, I'm not jumping on the bandwagon of "they're the worst films ever", but damn are they disappointing and all the reasons why could be surmised into 3 reviews (and an interview with a dude who made a film about George Lucas) of the prequel films on www.redlettermedia.com (I HIGHLY RECOMMEND WATCHING THEM FOR NOT ONLY THEIR EDUCATIONAL VALUE, BUT THEIR COMEDIC VALUE AS WELL).

    With that said, I understand the marketing value of the Star Wars franchise. I understand that people want to make exorbitant amounts of money by milking just about every possible thing they can from it. And it makes sense from a business point of view. But doing the things Lucas does is pretty unfair to not only his fans, but also his works (but that's another argument for another day, whether creators have a right and ability to go back and change their past work and not release it in it's original state ever again).

    After countless good and bad videogames, this has all been fine. Then there was the advent of the Kinect, the motion capture device for the Xbox 360 that lets you play as the controller in specific videogames made for it. It's an interesting progression of videogame peripherals, but I do personally do not agree with or want to use it. But that's also not relevant now. What IS relevant now is that they decided to make a Kinect Star Wars game. This made sense as lots of kids like the Kinect and lots of kids like Star Wars. Perfect Marketability, right? Still wasn't interested of course because I knew it was going to be a terrible game with forced focus on using a lightsaber and purposely made shitty graphics (like the Clone Wars animated series, though those were made through "creative choice" or whatever).

    Now I was cool with all this coming out, because I'd never buy it and it probably would just be forgotten in a few years anyway. Then I saw the videos they released recently... and my god, it's worse than I thought. Way Way Worse. I wish it was just a clunky lightsaber controlling on-rails game. I WOULDN'T CARE IF IT WAS JUST THAT. But no.

    You'll have to see for yourselves, for I cannot explain what they have done. Please, let me advise that you keep any sharp or blunt objects away from you while watching and for a duration of at least 30 minutes after watching these crimes against humanity. It WILL be difficult to watch, but... you'll see why I now know the end of the world is INDEED coming.

    By the way, this was released today. May The Force Have Mercy Upon Us All...

    [YOUTUBE]c42pEVwYM34[/YOUTUBE]

    [YOUTUBE]e6-eId8rgyc[/YOUTUBE]

    [YOUTUBE]TRRTRGehkuM[/YOUTUBE]

    [YOUTUBE]ZdYt7oETD5k[/YOUTUBE]

    .... I just saw the Hologram Girl and the Empire Today one for the first time just now... I'm dying again.

    There's a very good South Park episode about all of this...

    I also wish this was an extremely in poor taste April Fools joke, but it isn't v_v
     
    #1 Shevanel, Apr 3, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2012
  2. Revan

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    I like it because unlike some people I appreciate Lucasworks for making a game that has some fun integrated into it. Here's an idea, don't b**ch about a game unless you actually have good point to it. You're just complaining man because they didn't make the game the way YOU wanted. But I'm sure others will feel like you, but tI don't expect anything less, sometimes people just can't be happy. Though honestly, with a game like Kinect, something designed for games that often are for kids (there's kids in the freaking trailer for the game...) you were really expecting something like Force Unleashed or something? Lol.
     
  3. Shevanel

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    I do what I want. And yes, I was expecting a mediocre lightsaber game, just shittier and on rails.

    I didn't want them to make it at all. And it's LucasArts, and I've been playing lots of the games they made since I was a kid. It's not fun. It's stupid. If you want to flail your arms around, be my guest :slight_smile:
     
  4. Revan

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    Oh I didn't say I'd play it, I just said it's silly to complain over dancing videos. I take it you're not a fan of the Just Dance series either.
     
  5. Shevanel

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    How is it silly to complain about people raping my childhood by injecting shitty ass music and dancing into it? THEY GANGSTAFIED LANDO BECAUSE HE'S BLACK.

    And no, again, I don't like flailing my arms like an idiot.

    Sorry for being overly-critical of Just Dance and similar games by the way, they're just... the kind of thing enabling BS like the Kinect.
     
    #5 Shevanel, Apr 3, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2012
  6. Revan

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    It's silly because it's like the people complaining about the gay relationship in Mass Effect. It's there, there's nothing you can do about it, get over it.
     
  7. Shevanel

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    Except same-sex romance isn't a bad thing. Plus you're comparing a good game to a shitty game. lol.
     
  8. Ethan

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    I'm not even a big fan of Star Wars and I can see that this is nothing more than a cash-cow abomination.
    I guess all the 6-12-year-olds it's probably marketed for will love it, though.
     
  9. Owen

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    [​IMG]

    Not to mention that casual use of the word "rape" enforces the idea that rape isn't that big of a deal, which makes rapists feel less guilty for what they do.
     
  10. djt820

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    Revan, don't expect to be hired as a game reviewer anytime soon.

    There's a certain TONE that film and video games have. Something as well known as Star Wars has a certain tone and I don't think there were the Village People in a galaxy far, far away either.

    This is like if they were to make a Lord of the Rings Guitar Hero. Is that a little stupid, or what? You'd have to get Frodo a short scale guitar and it would probably be too big for him. METALLICA IN MIDDLE EARTH. I can see it now...

    This all has to do with there being logically no connection to the universe these things belong to. I was a big fan of DDR in the early 00's too so don't say I'm bashing dancing games because they are credible sources of entertainment. What I'm saying is... this is stupid.

    edit: that comic. Amazing.
     
  11. Eric

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    That's part of my problem with this is they're also trying to market it to old school fans. Or, that's what Microsoft Studio's creative director would say. He talks about giving fans an "authentic" Star Wars experience in a game where you have dance-offs in the same Cantina that was described in Episode IV as the "wretched hive of scum and villainy". And dancing. Yeah, totally authentic.

    The early reviews are pretty much panning the game anyway, so with any luck, we'll all forget about it sometime soon.
     
  12. Shevanel

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    Fine. George Lucas is MURDERING my childhood. Better? Or am I making murderers feel less guilty too?

    EDIT: In case you haven't noticed, I'm being silly.
     
    #12 Shevanel, Apr 3, 2012
    Last edited: Apr 3, 2012
  13. djt820

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    I'm sure that comic was originally made out of irony, too. WORDS CAN DESCRIBE THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

    Or should we change the long-ass EC header to the longer "A safe online community for homosexual, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out."

    I think "coming out" has different connotations too.
     
  14. Revan

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    Awe how cute, you actually think you have any idea what people look for when it comes to reviewing. It's really cute. Shut up.

    Love the comic, and while I'm not a woman, I'm one of those people that gets extremely offended. But we won't go there.

    Can we please realize I'm not saying the game is good, I'm saying I hate people reviewing a game that 1. they haven't played and 2. they think they can make an opinion based on a freaking youtube video.

    So seriously, STFU.

    I know this is rather depressing and I've taken a thread that's probably meant for laughs into a miserable thread. But it just frustrates me when everyone thinks they're a critic.
     
  15. djt820

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    We can tell.

    Anyways, you're no master critic. Anyone has the right to be a critic. You're the one who took this thread, which was a fun joke, a little too seriously in the first place so I'd judge myself before I judge others.

    If you're gonna hate someone for providing an opinion or critique on a video game, you need to assess yourself and how you think of people because I don't think that's very kind at all.

    And like you said, you have "taken a thread that's probably meant for laughs into a miserable thread."

    So let's get back on topic and stop attacking people.
     
  16. Shevanel

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    Yes, let us.
     
  17. Revan

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    Shevanel's bi. :slight_smile: See not attacking, stating truth lol.

    And no, I don't hate anyone. I just find myself frustrated sometime when people over critique.
     
  18. Tim

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    *shrug* I saw nothing wrong with the videos.

    They're marketing it towards little kids. It's to be expected nowadays.
     
  19. Pilgrim is hot

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    Meh kinda knew it was going to be like this, Star Wars has tons of fans so people were always going to have a problem with it, Summary:

    If your a kid you'll probably like it
    If your a adult you probably wont

    and I used to review games :lol: