Hey so, this might get a bit NSFW, but I really need advice on how to handle this situation. Me and my boyfriend hung out this weekend, and it got a bit 'spicy'. We didn't necessarily do anything sexual, but it was discussed a bit and I'm kind of confused with my sexual preferences. this is where it's gonna get a bit TMI so just, prepare I guess. I feel myself being sexually attracted to him, and everything's fine from the waist up, but when I think about actually getting to the real...'thing' I get nervous. I know that penetration isn't necessary for sex, but I genuinely want to do something of that extent with him. I just can't seem to get past the idea of handling and seeing a real penis in a sexual situation for the first time. Is this normal? i've only had proper sex with a girl before, so this is all pretty new to me. I really want to get over this roadblock so that I don't have to be sexually frustrated anymore like this when I know that everything will be fine. I also feel kind of bad because I want him to do 'things' to me, but I just have this irrational fear of doing things to pleasure him as well. Should I just go for it despite my fears in hopes that I'll get over it, or what? I'd just really appreciate some advice, Thanks.
Hey bitemvrks, Being nervous is totally normal, and, as long as your partner is careful and patient (and i'm not talking only about penetration, but when discussing sex in general with him), it should be fine, and there's no need to worry about it. Of course, the first time will probably be weird and all, but, again, if you and him are communicating and respecting each other (and using protection), it will be ok. Now, the question you need to ask yourself is: Do you want to do it? If you are only nervous, but you want to try it, then what i said above applies. However, if you are nervous because you are unsure, or because you don't want to do it, then remember you have absolutely NO OBLIGATION to do anything that you don't want to, and, if he is pressuring you, then you should reconsider the relationship. In other words, it comes down to two questions: 1- Do you have a caring, respectful and patient partner? 2- Do you want to do it?
I understand your concerns. Although I don't have a boyfriend, I do have anxieties about the idea of having sex with a guy. I would recommend starting slowly. Maybe doing some non-penetrative playing with him. And you should certainly tell him about your anxieties and tell him that it doesn't change how you really feel about him.
I second everything @Chiroptera said. I would suggest that you start with masturbation. It's a good way to be sexual with him but without the added pressure of performing with intercourse. Good luck!
Once you do it will be easier it is just a matter of time. Follow your heart, spend time and go slow.
