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Kinda hate my life

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Yeahyeah2, Mar 12, 2018.

  1. Yeahyeah2

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    Hi, so there, I kinda hate it. Sometimes I feel I like the way I am but there are other times when O wish I was different, I’m not good at what I studied for, I don’t know what I am good at. Talking to people seems very difficult some times and I don’t know what to do. I’ve heard people telling me “you just need to be positive, give the best of you”, and believe me, I’ve been positive many times and it works but then it comes that time when my life feels meaningless and I just don’t know what to do.
     
  2. NoName87

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    Hello I think coming on this site and writing how you feel is a good thing.

    You stated that you have been positive in the past and it has helped. From my personal experience keeping a journal of the strategies used could help you visualize and mediatate more concretely on what it is that has helped you stay positive. It was also imperative for me to note the triggers, thoughts and feelings that made me feel depressed. This helped to break the negative cognitive barriers that colored how I perceived my environment. I still get down and I am by no means a model perfection. However being aware of the way I think and feel and the situations that make me think and feel that way helps me prepare for rough times and adjust in a healthier manner.

    Hope my experience can help you! Please keep posting I am listening:slight_smile:
     
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  3. Flynn S

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    Wishing to be different makes us think we aren’t good enough to begin with. What makes you wish you were different? The grass isn’t always greener on the other side, and if it is, it’s probably fake. Be content with who you are. It’s fine (more than fine) to be a bit modest as long as you don’t overdo it—you should have a balance of confidence and modesty; if you tip the scale too far to one side, people will end up not liking you or you’ll end up not liking yourself.

    So you say you’ve tried being positive, but in the same paragraph remark:
    Thinking negatively decreases performance (self-fulfilling prophesy, after all) and depresses your mood. If you think you’re not good at something, don’t say you’re not good but that you can improve. It’s a slight change but it could be the difference between motivation and demotivation.

    Combat meaninglessness by finding something that makes you happy. Of course, easier said than done, but this could be reading a book you like, watching a favorite film, recalling a happy memory, performing a task you find to be enjoyable (eg. playing an instrument, writing, integrating infinite series), any of these things can give your life/self meaning and therefore make it worthwhile rather than worthless.

    NoName87's advice was good, keeping notes would be beneficial.

    Stick around if you'd like, we'll be here.
     
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  4. NoName87

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    Is it your not good at what you studied for? Or is it you are unhappy with what you studied for?

    Assuming the latter, it’s never to late to change, lots of people do it. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

    There is a psychological theory specifically cognitive, called the sunk cost effect. In descision making, the legitimacy of our decisions is positively correlated to the amount of time and effort we put into our descisions even if there is direct evidence that the consequences of our decisions isn’t what we want. In short we tend to keep doing things even though Our effort isnt giving us the the outcome we desire. It is irrational behavior. It is rational to know when to quit. Easier said than done but I think a lot of existential crisies are the result of this fact.