I don’t want to sleep anymore, I don't want to experience these again. In these sreams I can be the violent one or I can be the innocent victim. These dreams get so vivid that I can feel what happens to me in them and I can have a feeling like if my lungs get hurt in what ever violent thing happens that I am unable to breathe. These dreams are to vivid for me to even shake off after I awake because it feels like I'm going to die right here, the thoughts your brain makes in these moments are the scariest things in your life. Let me explain 2 dreams of when I become the violent one and from when I am the victim which is the most common type. Me being violent: In these nightmares I find myself on a shooting spree, unable to stop myself because I really don't understand what I am doing until the end of the nightmare, when I get to awaken in myself to see what I have done to these people and all this chaos is from me. This is the most horrifying part as the peak feeling of guilt the peak feeling of sorry, everything terrible, and stunned, I look around until I awaken in real life. Victim: I am doing anything normal or experiencing a normal dream before it turns into horror. In these nightmares, The weapons used to kill are different. Sometimes it is guns, others just normal items taken from environment like large tree branches and then the most recent dream I just awoke from, a large combat knife. These dreams become so vivid that everything can be felt in some sort of way. I will brief the one I just woke from though these nightmares I can remember every detail. In this nightmare, I am getting my vehicle stolen from me by knife point, but my car cant work for some reason. For this what looked to be a bowie knife was shoved into me, making my breathing really hard, being able to feel it. It is then pushed up to kill. During this I don’t know this is a nightmare I will awaken from. My feelings as this happen being genuine emotions felt by victims to this. My hypothesis is that I have some sort of ptsd from seeing many real violent death videos as a child (they exist all over the internet, it is likely you have seen them) it doesn't have to be something you meant to see. I remember the details of everyone of these videos and get hit with random flashes in my head of these videos. Every time striking intense disturbance and paranoia and anxiety. Recently I was in a chat when someone posted a video that was terribly graphic showing a terrible act. This has seemed to resurge everything which I thought I could eventually move past. I live in extreme paranoia, fear that I'm not ever safe from anyone and sometimes even myself, I don't even feel safe putting this here and might delete later on. How can I stop this, please if you have ANYTHING any tips on stopping these nightmares PLEASE I will listen.
That sounds a lot like PTSD to me. I'm no professional but i'm pretty sure a therapist could help you with this kind of thing. Perhaps explaining the situation to your normal doctor could get you a referral to get trauma therapy. Hope you'll get better soon.
I think I should at some point tell my doctor but I don’t get why I am scared to. I don't know if its normal to be scared of talking about it to anyone. It feels like coming out but a totally different topic. Thanks also!
It is pretty normal to be scared to talk with your doctor I think. I know that it took me a long time to feel comfortable even seeking help because of the stigma around mental health care. If you are scared to talk to your doctor depending on where you are located you can see if there are any local mental health resources. It does sound like you could use somebody to talk with this about, because being scared to sleep is not a fun time.
At least I can relax knowing that is ok. I will look up about any resources in my area. And yeah it is quite terrible. Thank you for replying!
No problem! I've been in that spot before so I know how it can get to you over time. One thing that helped me was trying to calm myself before I went to sleep. Sometimes I would listen to calming music. I also found that reading helped me too. It didn't make them stop, but it at least made them less intense.
