I'm so tiered of this dumb game. I really am. Isn't there anyone out there anymore who wants to get to know someone and have an actual relationship anymore? I mean, I enjoy the physical don't get me wrong and I'm up for it not a problem. However, it takes more than just physical attraction for me. I need to know the person, I need that personality to do it for me as well, I need us to trust and get to know each other. And I by far need the Trust. Being a Transman and dating isn't easy. Either people are just freaks and want to put me on their list of things they've done (literally) or they treat me as a woman in bed and I am certainly no such thing! Relationships have to be something you try for, something you want and it seems like I have it all against me. I don't have the right parts or I have to many. I have a job the demands many hours for me so my schedule is always crazy. I live in the middle of freaking nowhere, where the LGBT is not well known. I have a young son who I'm the sole provider for. And apparently I expect more than just sex so that in itself is to much. Ugh. I am aware that there is probably someone out there just right for me, but honestly I'm so done looking and so tiered and fusterated. I don't even know if I care anymore. Its all made me so cynical. Dateing sites suck and are filled with fakes or people that aren't even remotely close to me, so while a long distance is fine I would at least be able to see them physicaly sometimes. I just feel....unworthy sometimes. Meh. I will just continue to better myself a little each day, make myself a better person for my son and as long as I'm good enough for him screw the rest. I have a small group of friends who are my family, and they will be enough for me. I hate the lonely, cold nights, but its better than sleeping next to a lie or settling for something that makes me less than who I am. I won't lower myself ever again for a few, meaningless nights. Phht, Rant over. Sorry, just one of those fusterating days. :bang:
Well, first of all, don't think that you'll find your ''one'' in a day, week or even a year, it asks a lot of time.. When the right time comes, you'll find your chosen one, just need a bit patience. The point is not to give up, even if you feel tired, that's the life point.. Not always everything will be on plate and ready to be served, you need to work for it, work hard, until you get what you wish, finding the one is one of these things. It's okay that you're open on telling about your feelings, many brothers and sisters of our community appreciate that a lot and there is nothing wrong that you have fusterating day, everyone of us have, sometimes. All I'd like you to wish that you'll find your ''one'' and never keep head down so you don't fall hard on your neck once (by that I mean become alone at all). Don't become a shy person, even in the place, where LGBT is not well known, there will be always someone who'll support you. Wish you luck! (*hug*)
