So someone with a fear of abandonment is suffering and then through their internal suffering harms me and I'm supposudly a horrible person for leaving them and just reinforcing their fears and that somehow I'm a horrible person for leaving an abusive person due to their own suffering. That "stigma" against those with the overwhelping fear of abandonment drive people into being trapped or leaving and if leaving the "stigmatised" can 'paint' the leaver as a bad person with no regard for how their "own" behaviour led to it. Only those who refuse to take ownership for their behaviour have acted like this. Those who take ownership have done well. From what I read. Your internal suffering does not mean I have to suffer your behaviour. Your suffering does not mean I have to stay. What you have suffered through does not mean you have a leeway to let others suffer from you. Someone who has cared may leave if you start making them suffer, that doesn't make them bad. Until the next time. Secrets.