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Just got served with divorce papers

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by greatwhale, Mar 4, 2013.

  1. greatwhale

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    Hug badly needed...
     
  2. Anthemic

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    (*hug*) I am so sorry. Do you want to talk about it? :/
     
  3. Dublin Boy

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    (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&)

    Here for you (*hug*)
     
  4. derrik

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    Oh gosh

    time to talk to a good friend

    if not then post on here
     
  5. Minx

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    (*hug*)
     
  6. greatwhale

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    It's not a surprise of course, I've been talking about it since I started here, but it still sucks.

    ---------- Post added 4th Mar 2013 at 12:14 PM ----------

    Thanks for the hugs!
     
  7. PeteNJ

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    Ok man. First a big hug.

    Then figure out what's next

    I highly highly recommend you work out with your wife to gi to mediation, unless you want to blow obscene amounts of money on attorneys And increase the acrimony with your STBX wife exponentially

    And if you havnt lawyered up yet, do. My strategy was to get a lawyer who would be firm on my behalf but not a jerk. Then I interviewd and had ready to go a lawyer who is a f***in pitbull, though it didn't come to that.

    All the best. Regardless of where you're at in terms of the next chapter as an out gay man, this is a time of sadness and uncertainty. Many hugs. And keep posting
     
  8. greatwhale

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    Thank you Pete,

    Much appreciated. I wanted to go the mediation route, but I failed to convince her. We're looking at about 30K in costs; it's insane and money taken straight out of the kid's futures.

    Seeing a lawyer first thing tomorrow morning. I am told he is reasonable and compassionate. I have to take the high road but it sucks, big time.

    Why do I feel like I'm getting fired???

    ---------- Post added 4th Mar 2013 at 02:07 PM ----------

    I like the STBX acronym....

    Here's another: NFWIPT (no :***: way I'm paying that!)

    and another: LFACA (looking for a cheap apartment)
     
  9. Lexington

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    As the saying goes, you can send your children to college, or you can send your lawyers' kids to college. Make sure you make the right decision.

    Lex
     
  10. greatwhale

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    Oh, by the way, I'm starting a new job on the 25th...I wonder if they'll notice that I'm an emotional wreck?

    ---------- Post added 4th Mar 2013 at 02:11 PM ----------

    Way too much drama these days...
     
  11. SaleGayGuy

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    Hi greatwhale

    I am sending you a big cyber hug and thinking of you. Sorry to hear that this bad news arrived out of the blue, especially since you are changing jobs at this time, and that you could not go down the route of mediation in some sort of mutually agreed timetable.

    I am sure the thoughts of all the married gay guys & girls on EC are with you.

    Hugs Sale Gay Guy
     
    #11 SaleGayGuy, Mar 4, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2013
  12. therunawaybff

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    Awww man, I'm so sorry to hear about this. Even though it's not unexpected news, I understand how much it's gotta suck still. (*hug*)

    Unfortunately, it also seems like this is a necessary part of your coming out process, so in a sense you're also starting a new chapter in your life. I know it doesn't feel all that good right now, but ultimately this should open a lot of new doors for you.

    I hope you and your wife are able to separate amicably, and that your children are not too badly affected. How old are they?
     
  13. mav96213

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    Hey, hang in there, I hope it doesn't get too ugly for you. I've been down that road, surprised I survived the whole ordeal. Keep your chin up and don't let it get you down. Time does make things better, it's just the wait that's tough...
     
  14. FunnyMonkey

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    Sorry about this, (&&&) (*hug*) (&&&). I/we are here for you. (*hug*)
     
  15. greatwhale

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    Thank you all for your support, I really need it. My three kids are two boys, 16 and 10, and a daughter in between, 13.

    Kids are pretty resilient, more than us older gents.

    I actually do believe that crappy events are a cause for a celebration of sorts, they mean that the world is righting itself, bringing things back into balance, karma if you will.

    And karma better get cracking as I'm cracking with anticipation toward a new life!
     
    #15 greatwhale, Mar 4, 2013
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2013
  16. June Cleaver

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    (*hug*)June loves you!(*hug*) If you ever need a sholder to cry on, I am always here. June
     
  17. Cthulhu

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    I'm sorry, man. (*hug*)
     
  18. greatwhale

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    Thanks again, I really appreciate the hugs!
     
  19. nikom87

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  20. Aldrick

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    (*hug*)

    This is a bump in the road. Things are tough now, but after you've passed this you'll have the ability to finally be happy. You'll be able to live your life.