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Just got back from a gay club.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Hefiel, Mar 11, 2014.

  1. Hefiel

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    My intention with this thread isn't to describe my "trip" to a gay club as much as it has to do with giving a general advice based on what my experience today (or yesterday...). One recurring subject I see on EC comes from members wondering if they should go to (insert name of place here) alone, or how they can't meet any LGBT folks because they don't like where the LGBT community stereotypically hangs out to, etc.

    A small description of myself so that perhaps more people may be able to relate, but I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to trying something out of my comfort zone. I tend to shut down a little, and my thoughts tends to veer towards "how can I get out of here" before I've even gotten through the door of whatever place I plan to go to, in this case a gay club. I'm also pretty anxious and nervous around people, most of the time, the situation is just really awkward and uncomfortable for me. It should also be noted that I hate loud music, whether it's actually good music or not doesn't matter, it tends to give me huge headaches, which I also happen to be currently suffering from as I'm writing this.

    So, despite all of this, why in hell have I gone to a gay club, let alone by myself? The best answer I can give is that I had to. What do I mean by this? Well for one I can't count on other people or friends to be there for me at all time, but I also really want to work on my anxiety issues so I have to put myself in situations like these. I don't want all these thoughts to prevent myself from trying out an activity that is harmless at the end of the day.

    This particular gay club holds a special event every Tuesdays for Ga(y)mers, and I've been meaning to go to it for quite a while, but due to my schedule and the time I spent commuting every day to go to college and back home (4 hours every day, although the gay club is pretty close to my college), going there was simply not a realistic possibility considering my workload. Still, tomorrow I'm not going to college (well it's actually today as I'm writing this...it's past 1 AM), so this was an opportunity for me to go there and see for myself. The event started today with a screening of the movie "Frozen", at which points many folks there began to sing "Let It Go" along with Elsa like it was a Karaoke, it was fun. After the movie there was a Mario Kart tournament happening which I didn't take part in, but watched for 35 minutes or so before I left not knowing how the trip back home would go (it was alright). I didn't speak to anyone at the event with the exception of one guy I know from college ( who also happens to be in the same student club as me) but we're not "friends" (we get along but that's it) so he returned to his group of friends after a short while. I also said a few words to the waiter, but since I don't drink the "chat" was pretty short :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:.

    Was the event awkward for me? I won't lie, it was. Being alone in a completely unfamiliar location with complete strangers who are all hanging out with their little groups while you're mostly by yourself watching people play Mario Kart is awkward, however that's not what I got out of this experience. Despite the awkwardness...and the loud music (which to be fair was good music), I actually enjoyed being there. Will I go there again? I plan to next week, however this time I'll try to bring along a friend, and I'll try to participate. It's the same with the Montreal ComicCon which I've been to last year. I went there alone and despite the awkwardness, and I really enjoyed myself and will go again this year.



    TL-DR and just a general sum up of what I'm trying to say here : Don't let the thought of being alone or the feeling of awkwardness get in the way of going to some event and enjoying it. Of course you might not have the best experience in the world, but it will give you a general idea of whether the event is something you enjoyed or not, and whether you would want to bring your friends next time. Also, there's no need to hurry up and achieve everything in a single night, you can take it slowly and make progress from there. It will pay off in the long terms.

    PS. If you haven't seen it yet, Frozen is a great movie, I really enjoyed it.
    PPS. I wish Tylenol would act faster...dammit this headache >.<
     
  2. Hiems

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    Seldom do I hear a gay club having an event for gaymers... lol.

    I would so go to one if any around here had such an event. Hanging out with other video game fans sounds more fun than going to a bar and dancing.

    Thanks for sharing your experience :slight_smile: I'm still trying to get myself to go to my LGBT club at my university, but going alone and likely coming out to strangers are the two things that stop me from doing it. I'll muster the courage to do it... eventually.
     
  3. Hefiel

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    One thing to remember with LGBT clubs is that it's comprised of members who've mostly been through the same struggles most of us on EC have in coming to terms with our sexuality. It is without a doubt one of the safest place LGBT folks can hang out as there will be no one to judge you based on your sexuality. Courage! You can do it!

    Personally I haven't joined the LGBT club in my college. I didn't like it when I went to one of their meetings, they are very militant whereas I'm more of a laid-back person (not that there's anything wrong with militants), however I'm openly gay in a completely different students club and have had no problem there. It actually feels more like home to me than my real home in that regard, not that I've had issues with my parents regarding my sexuality, but over there I'm surrounded with people I can relate to on one level or the other and I don't feel like I have to hide who I am at all, which is an awesome feeling after being in the closet for so many years.
     
  4. Hiems

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    Yeah that's one recurring complaint that I've heard EC members bring up about LGBT clubs at their schools. It can be polarizing, i.e. if you're not part of the solution, then you're part of the problem, so the environment is not welcoming. However, I don't want to judge my school's club before trying and will give it a shot whenever ready :slight_smile:
     
  5. greatwhale

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    Good for you, Hef!

    Just another step in the right direction, I wish you all the best!
     
  6. Hefiel

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    It's certainly another step. I just wish I had more time to spend working on bettering myself and experimenting. I've been insanely busy this semester too, so I'm looking forward to finally having a whole week off next week :lol:

    Also want to start working out a little...just waiting for my shoulder to heal since I seem to have slightly injured it during a work out session in college, still a bit painful to raise my arms above my head or stand in push-up position for example.