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Just a rant!

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Questions93, Mar 9, 2019.

  1. Questions93

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    Hey guys,

    Sorry, just another rant from me, but just need to get some things off my chest. Ive had a pretty crap day.

    Ive spent my whole life being able to bury my own problems and help other people with theirs. But im just so tired. I cant do it anymore. Tonight it just came from everywhere. I know everyone has their problems and i really am trying to help, but i need to manage my own first. I dont have enough energy to fix everything. And even if i did. I dont know how to fix your problems. I dont know what the right answer is.

    I cant just abandon my friends, but i dont know how to deal with their problems when im already making a huge mess of my own.
     
  2. I'mStillStanding

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    I’m feeling this so much right now! Trying to keep it together myself because I have to... and therapy is still several days away... but really been venting this in my thread the last few days and it’s hard for sure! So you’re definilty not alone.
     
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  3. Mirko

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    Hi there! I am glad you decided to write your thoughts out. This is why we are here.

    As great as the feeling of being able to help others, being there for others can be and is, there is only so much we can take on at any time. What has helped me in situations like this is to put up some boundaries and to be honest and say, 'I can't listen, help you right now, because I am not in the space I need to be in to be able to help you or listen.'

    By putting in your boundaries, you are not abandoning your friends; all you are saying to them is to give you the space, break you need, to be able to work on things you need to work on, so to be able to be there for them. If you are burned out, if you feel things have gotten worse for yourself because it has taken all the energy out of you, and have nothing left for yourself, you can't be there for them, and you can;t be there for yourself. Don't feel that you need to take on every problem that a friend comes with, don't feel you need to be the friend that helps to fix all problems.

    It is perfectly alright, to place yourself first. There are moment where you have to, need to do that. There is no shame in doing that, there is nothing wrong with doing that. A good friend will understand that and might even turn around and ask you, if there is something you would like to talk about. (*hug*)
     
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  4. Questions93

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    Hey guys,

    Thanks for the replies. I was just feeling a little fed up last night. I started a new job a few days ago which has left me with no energy to deal with my own problems, and then it just seemed like sh*t hit the fan last night for everything else around me. I wanted to just say "sorry, I can't deal with any of this right now" and run, but I knew if I did I would regret it if something happened my friends. So I stuck it out, and while it might have helped others, my mood just dropped lower and lower as the whole thing went on.

    Anyway, I'm feeling better today, so thanks for letting me vent :slight_smile:
     
  5. Mirko

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    I'm glad to hear you are feeling better. :slight_smile:
     
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