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Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my gender

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by just b urself, Oct 30, 2011.

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  1. just b urself

    just b urself
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    Hey guys,it's me once again.Haha.:slight_smile: Well a lot of things have been going on lately..as you guys know or should know,ive been questioning my gender(wondering if my gender is male) and thats enough to deal with as it is..and not alot of people know that ive been questioning my gender identity.just close friends and i also made a facebook under what my guys name would be to see how it feels so people on their know too but not my family..and ive just been so scared about what my family will think..they are pretty judgemental and everything with everything.Liek they make fun of people if they look weird to them and all of that.For example when we were at the store the other day one of my relatives was makign fun of this guy because he was a cowboy and a few mins later they saw a black cowboy and were making fun of him.I mean,i dont do that.I think everyone is entitled to their own opinion and if someone lieks something or wants to do soemthing to make them happy and comfortable then they should do it no matter what others think..and then some of my family are big "Christians"..u know the ones that are probally like"Homesexuality is a sin and u will go to hell" so like if i am what i think i am and when i come out,im scared they will be like"God gave u what he did for a reason and wouldnt want u to do that and everything liek that..i mean im sure that their are plenty of people out their who go through this or goes through being scared of this..nto just transgender people..gay people,bi people,and everything like that..and also lately it seems like ever since i started questioning my gender the fact that im "a girl"is being thrown into my face..all this weekend my family has been commenting on how i dress liek a guy and that they wish i woudl dress like a girl and my aunt also said that she wants to take me for a few weeks to try to make me girly..and she said that she thinks if i was raised differently(by my mom instead of my dead cuz my mom passed away when i was in middle school)that she thinks i would be different and dress like a girl wich i dont think i would becuz as soon as what i wore was up to me i started dressing up less girlish and started dressing liek a guy more andm ore as i got older and older and thats been bugging me also since ive been questioning my gender..ive been asking"What if my mom did raise me..would i dress liek a girl..would i be questioning my identity?"one part of me knows that i wouldnt dress liek a girl but the other part wonders if i would..idk but ik trans people(who r ftm)tht used to actually dress like a girl so i dont htink it would even matter if i dressed liek one now..but im wondering if i was brought up by her if i would be questioning my identity but i guess i maybe wont know that answer till i figure out who i am becuz if i was meant to guy(my gender being a guy) then know matter how i was brought up..i would eventually question my identity.im sorry this is so long but im just wanting some support and soem advice and maybe some people who can relate to atleast soem of this.thanks. (!)
     
    #1 just b urself, Oct 30, 2011
  2. firemaker13

    firemaker13
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    Your define. Yourself. Its true u know. It matter where u lived or you. Lived with. You still be questioning. That's just the process. Just do it. What makes you happy do it. Do it for yourself. And no one else. I believe everyone questions them self, same, way or or another. Its like when you was younger you, had your period, right, some females started younger then you and some women start. Their much later in life. If u was question now you was probley question when you mom was around. She already who you are as a person. So what you dress like a boy and you want to be a boy. I think its really cool.
     
    #2 firemaker13, Oct 30, 2011
  3. Chrisyan

    Chrisyan Guest

    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    I read all that and i couldnt grasp what it is that you want to know. D:!
     
    #3 Chrisyan, Oct 30, 2011
  4. just b urself

    just b urself
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    sorry man..like i was wondering if i was raised differently9

    ---------- Post added 30th Oct 2011 at 11:58 PM ----------

    SORRY MY LAPTOP MESSED UP.i was wondering if i was raised differently(by a mother figure)would i still be questioning if i was trans?
     
    #4 just b urself, Oct 30, 2011
  5. needshelp

    needshelp
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    i doubt that that would have made a difference to your situation. you are who you are and nothing no matter which way it could have went down would have changed that. it's that your family doesn't want to understand you because they're ignorant. it really sucks. don't make anybody make you feel bad for who you are.
     
    #5 needshelp, Oct 31, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2011
  6. Chrisyan

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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    Will it make sense for you to think of it this way?:

    Do you believe that our gender and our sexual preference is something that is determined by our genes? If you believe so, then it's safe to say that at some point in your life, you would have come upon this self-discovery. The way you are raised perhaps can only determine at what point in your life you start to question your gender and when you accept it. If you dont believe our gender is pre-determined, and rather believe that we are influenced into our gender, then i wouldnt know how to answer your question, because i dont believe that.
     
    #6 Chrisyan, Oct 31, 2011
  7. silverhalo

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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    Hey I personally dont think it would have made any difference, if you are a guy in a girls body then thats what you are, even if you had been brought up by 2 women you would still be you. There are plenty of ftm trans people who have grown up with a mother figure in their life, and they are still trans, and there are plenty of girls who have grown up without a mother figure and are very girly.

    Its horrible that your family are judgemental and that you dont think they will be supportive but you have to try not to think about that too much and just work out how you will be happiest, if they are totally not going to accept it then it might mean that you cant live 100% the way you would like to until you are not reliant on them but perhaps you should give them a chance, sometimes people can react differently when it is someone they love.
     
    #7 silverhalo, Oct 31, 2011
  8. just b urself

    just b urself
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    @needshelp,thank u so very much.i appriciate it.thats what i was thinking,that no matter how i was raised it wouldnt change anything if i actually am transgender.im just tryign to accept who i may be and i mtrying to put aside confusion and fear of judement aside so that i can be happy and find myself.
    @chrisyan,what do u mean by our genes?do u mean that its genetic,like runs in the family?if so i dont becuz none of my family has ever delt with this.i dont believe that its by influence tho.i think thats a load of bull.but what do u mean by predetermined?i just want to know what makes a person not match with their sex and makes them transgender.i hear ur born with it and osme realize it young,some aroudn puberty and some old.
    @silverhalo,thank u.i get what ur saying,im going to try to put what they say about me aside and find myself and if i am what i think i am,accept myself and then give them a chance and if they pretty much disown me oh well becuz if someone really love me they will accept me for who i am no matter what their views are
     
    #8 just b urself, Oct 31, 2011
  9. Chrisyan

    Chrisyan Guest

    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge


    Yes, i meant if you believe you are born with it.
     
    #9 Chrisyan, Oct 31, 2011
  10. just b urself

    just b urself
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    @chrisyan,yes i do believe ur born with it..it just takes some people longer to figure out that their gender doesnt match up with their sex.
     
    #10 just b urself, Oct 31, 2011
  11. Keelin

    Keelin
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    With Transgenders, it takes a different period of time for people to realize their gender. I realized that I wasn't a guy at age ten. Others realize it when they are younger or older. Most often it is always before puberty, with a few exceptions.

    My dad plays a huge part in my life, however i am still a girl. Parenting doesn't really affect who you are, just sometimes what you do activity wise.

    I'm sorry about your mom, by the way :hug:
     
    #11 Keelin, Oct 31, 2011
  12. just b urself

    just b urself
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    @keelin,thank u,that makes sense.i just got confused and iwasnt sure if it was something that u r born with and that others just take longer to realize it.like,im 17 and im just now questioning my gender identity.thanks girl.
     
    #12 just b urself, Oct 31, 2011
  13. Keelin

    Keelin
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    Re: Judgement becuz of who iam..if iwas brought up diferent wold i b questionin my ge

    you know it :slight_smile:
     
    #13 Keelin, Oct 31, 2011
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