Eversince the re-awakening of my sexuality, I've come out to few friends and family member. It's healthy and I feel more relaxed that my complete self is known to people who always inspire me. Recently, I've come out to my (straight as an arrow) close friend over the phone. This friend has been my friend for over 11 years and for the last decade, we have kept our communication regularly through emails, FB and messenger. It took me a while to find the words and eventually got the courage to say "okay, I'm not straight." To my shock, she said, "I've known for a long time." I said, "what? how come, when?" She said that she could feel that I wasn't straight since she met me. I didn't dig much as I was so overwhelmed that a friend of mine knew all along what I was before I even realised it. I mean, I realised it when I had done something with other woman. I knew that I had some questionings before having a sexual experience, and I just usually brushed it off. I'm so not over yet to the fact that other person has known something about my inner self before I did. I remember a classmate in college who would just tell our group, "he's gay." We would laugh and say that he didn't look like one. She'd say, "he doesn't know yet but it will come to him one day." Far out! Has anyone experienced this yet? It's like Johari's window (psych 101), the blind spot: known to others but unknown to self.
I guess you could say that I've experienced this somewhat because one time I was talking with my brother and my sister and they told me that they already knew I was gay. I still don't know how 2 straight people have a better gaydar than me.
My good friend knew the moment she met me and was floored I had a husband. Finally I came out to her she was "I knew my gaydar wasn't broken!". Mostly my gay friends knew about me. I wasn't too touchy with guys and I probably talked about Emma Watson a little too much.
