JayHew, RIP

Hey, Jerry.

I feel so lucky that I got to know you.
You helped me a lot and others and I can't thank you enough for that.

And I'm so sorry for not replying to your message. I just hope you didn't mind.

Rest In Peace, Jerry

 

thanks becky its still not that old !!! ive been thinking about him on and off today and yesterday and he was good to me and helping me a bit with things.im sad he is gone now!!!
it will be a bit hard may be to get some one to do the medical advise things on here now

 

Jayhew helped me realize that just because I am gay doesn't mean that I can't make it doing what I want to do in this world. I talked to him several times through pm and he really helped me when I first came out and with tips on how to get my mom to realize that my being gay isn't going to even get close to ending my professional carrer. Even though I never knew him in person, I will miss him, and my condolences go to his family, especially his partner.

 

R.I.P JayHew....I never needed Advice from you, but I can tell you were full of wisdom and you have helped a lot of people on EC....My Condolences go out to Dan and your family!

 

I posted this on ### today. Instead of revising for EC, I am posting it exactly as it was posted there. However, I do want to add that Jerry's affection for you folks here at EC was even greater than that of ### because he never had children of his own and felt a kindred responsibility to the youth here. His dedication to this site was an endeavour that he let nothing compromise because you are here. He relished in the opportunity to give all he could to "His Kids" as he loved to say. That some of you who are still here because he cared enough to reach out is a tribute to Jerry's most fervent desire .. That you all bloom and prosper.

Big HUGS,

-dan

Hi Guys and Gals too.

I have wanted to post something here for days, but just couldn't seem to get up to it. I promised myself first thing when I got up this morning so I am honoring my own promise now.

I cannot possibly express my appreciation for the almost overwhelming support and truly touching love that has been expressed in this thread after the passing of my dearest Jerry (Jayhew.)

Even those whom have only lurked and never exchanged notes with him have expressed they were helped and or touched. Such was my Man. All who knew him personally have without exception told me how he affected their lives sometimes in most dramatic and positive ways. He was like that. He never shirked from the truth as he saw it and he had this amazing ability to grasp and see so many things in the clearness of reality. He had the tendency to tell more than some wanted to know at the moment but they were glad later.

His expression of love and respect to everyone was unbridled His wit was uncontrollable. That he was always willing to help others help themselves carried through from his medical practice into his public and private life in unceasing zeal.

Jerry had lived a full, rich, rewarding, difficult and wondrous life that had many chapters. He believed from a very early age that he needed to live deliberately. In all the ways of being human he was also an ordinary man with the inner demons, fears and challenges. He embraced the difficulties of his personal saga with courage and most of all the belief that he was here for the purpose of the moment which was usually a mystery to him. He lived each day fully, even when he was down or sick with the usual maladies of flu or cold he charged through with intentfull commitment for he had things to do, people to see, life to live.

Living and loving with Jerry was never dull or uneventful. There was always the expectation that each and every day would be filled with excitement over something or other as well as the refreshing pauses and reflection which he made time for too. So many here making their routine comments and news of the moment brought him joy or sparked new insights, or sometimes sent him into rantful quest to seek understanding and maybe a way he could help.

He and I began our relationship long distance here in Alaska via Instant Messaging while I still cared for my terminally ill Wife of 39 years and he finishing up the last phases of a divorce that took 3 years. We discovered quickly that we had lived parallel lives in many respects with details being different but some many common experiences and interests. After a short time he had reason to come to Anchorage to teach some training sessions in medical emergency first response and we got to meet face to face. For me it was instant confirmation of the love for him that had been welling up from inside me. For him it was, well more cautious. But there was no doubt something truly wonderful was happening for us both. We chatted via IM everyday and every night and every chance we got for months, with megabytes of transcript logs I cherish.

On the day my Wife died, Jerry was leaving Anchorage after having been there for the weekend spending what time we could together. Jerry turned around and came back and stayed with me through all of the arrangements. He was a terrific and so much support to me at such a difficult time. Circumstances were such that my retirement was to be immediate, I sold my house in record time and moved to Nelchina to be with Jerry.

We made the best of it and not a second do I have any regret. Our trip to the U.K., our time in the wilds of Alaska, our trip to meet his Family back in New York State, our commutes for him to work at the Clinic over 100 miles from the house, our time together at home with projects and the ever present computer connectivity to the entire world and literally hundreds of true friends we have never laid eyes on.

I am exceptionally grateful for the privilege of sharing part of my life with Jerry and through all the conversations he and I had about folks here at ### I am grateful for each and every one of you here too.

Jerry was one of a kind, the most Sterling kind. That many of you will miss him helps me a little. But saying I miss him is just not even close to being adequate. I take some solace knowing he is at peace.

Thank You Jubbers One and ALL for adding to the richness of Jerry's Life, He truly did Love you and showed it.

-dan

 

Dan,

Thanks so much for sharing the most intimate parts of your life with Jerry here at EC. I'm a firm believer in following your heart and that is exactly what you and Jerry did. Your time together was short but if you hadn't did what you did, you may have not shared that precious time together.

 

Thanks Dan for sharing your moments with Jerry.You're a lucky man to have shared his life.
Take care...Richard

 

Thanks Dan. While I understand it make take time, I hope you can overcome your sadness and continue at EC as something more than the 'silent partner' you were before with Jerry.

Thank YOU too for your part in his actions here - it is clear now to many of us that you were an integral part of much of the advice that came to us from Jerry. I hope you take satisfaction from that - and that you remain with us...even without Jerry you clearly have a lot to offer people here. (*hug*)

 

Thanks Dan for a very poignant post. May Jerry continue to live in your heart and memory for ever - God bless.

 

RIP JayHew, you will be missed.

 

Hi,
Well I never new Jerry (JayHew) but I know when someone passes on. It's hard for everyone. Mostly for the people he touch within his life time. I never knew him but by the sounds of enveryone. He was a good man. It kind of sucks to come into EC a new member and here so many great things about this one man and not get to meet him. I just felt I had to pay my respects. Rest in peace, Jerry.
I didnt know you but I care.

 

oh my god.... i had never read this forum till today....

jayhew and i had conversed once. he told me about his land in Alaska. he painted a picture with words that made it sound beautiful.
i'm so sad now...
i'm sorry