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I've made a huge mistake...I just don't know what to do

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by MyLittleWorld, Apr 15, 2014.

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  1. MyLittleWorld

    MyLittleWorld
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    But he said he prefer it to come out by itself..? but he has no idea what is it...Idk really
     
    #21 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  2. Lukas17

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    And sure, keep us updated :icon_bigg
     
    #22 Lukas17, Apr 16, 2014
  3. An0n

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    That's because he's hoping that you'll change your mind. Do you honestly think it's right to continue in a "relationship" whereby only one party actually wants it? A relationship consists of two people and truth be told, you're not there. I think it's wrong and harmful to continue with this facade.
     
    #23 An0n, Apr 16, 2014
  4. MyLittleWorld

    MyLittleWorld
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    It's not right.. I do know what he is hoping with wanting this to come out in time...

    ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2014 at 03:57 AM ----------
    I will :slight_smile:
     
    #24 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  5. An0n

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    Well I'm glad you're not turning a blind eye to it. I just think it's worse to allow him to get his hopes up about a relationship that is a lie.

    Aside from approaching his family you should also consider talking to his friends about your concerns for this guy. True friends help their buddies in times of need.
     
    #25 An0n, Apr 16, 2014
  6. MyLittleWorld

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    I think time will make it worse... But I will not tell him everything like "I'm a lesbian and it's over between us". I thought maybe I will go to this step by step and it will not be so painful.. by the way, this will be no fun for me too, it is painful for me too.:icon_sad:
     
    #26 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  7. An0n

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    Yeah. You will feel guilty and upset for him. I've made that mistake, though with a woman and different reasons, which is why I feel strongly about the subject.

    I have decided never to embark on a relationship unless I am certain of my feelings for the person. It may not work out but at least I know that I'll have no regrets for having tried.

    Be gentle by don't be swayed by pity or concern - if we pander to their needs we only encourage them.
     
    #27 An0n, Apr 16, 2014
  8. MyLittleWorld

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    I have to be gentle. I can't be rough with my words I think but still no matter how much time it will take I have to move forward and start to tell him the truth...

    After all, it could be all my fault in the end because for him it may look really important thing and he could say he never thought about it and I will become this freaking liar... I don't want to become.
     
    #28 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  9. Gates

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    You aren't a liar. You didn't know. And sorry for being blunt but you have to just tell him. Be careful that you aren't alone with him, though, like maybe in a cafe. The sooner he moves on, the better.
     
    #29 Gates, Apr 16, 2014
  10. MyLittleWorld

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    It is hard. I mentioned I had feelings for him and I think I like him in some way. I try to be attracted to him and I think he is really handsome but I am just not into him like that... I do not know what I feel for him and if I hurt him I will hurt myself too. I mean I f*cked up life for one person and now with my current boyfriend...I'm liar and I hate myself for it so much. Maybe I could ignore that there is no attraction and just date him with feelings I have....? I don't know.
     
    #30 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  11. MyLittleWorld

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    But maybe I will tell it slowly
     
    #31 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  12. blond

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    You should probably tell him slowly. it won't be easy, but it's for the best. And remember to stay strong.
     
    #32 blond, Apr 16, 2014
  13. An0n

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    Is this how you remove a band aid?

    You haven't screwed up anyone's lives. People have relationships and most come to an end, it's life. The only people who feel their lives are ruined are people who have/had an unhealthy dependency on their partner.
     
    #33 An0n, Apr 16, 2014
  14. MyLittleWorld

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    Thank you :slight_smile:

    ---------- Post added 16th Apr 2014 at 08:19 AM ----------
    It's just who I'm. I suffered a lot in my life just because I put other people needs before mine...
     
    #34 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  15. stocking

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    You have a lot of internalized homophobia , I think it's best you stay single for a while and figure out what you want
     
    #35 stocking, Apr 16, 2014
  16. MyLittleWorld

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    I thought I don't have any homophobic things going on in me...
     
    #36 MyLittleWorld, Apr 16, 2014
  17. MyLittleWorld

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    Yesterday I asked him again how he would like to find out what I want to tell him... We talked and he was even okay with idea that I would lie to him and he will not know the truth... he is just so desperate to stay with me it just scares me now. I told him that it doesn't matter how he choses to find out. After finding out everything will end. And he just begged me to stay and find a way to stray together. And idk if I'm crazy but I thought maybe it is possible even through I love women to stay with him...? at this point, I have to decide for myself first :frowning2:
     
    #37 MyLittleWorld, Apr 17, 2014
  18. LostAndAffraid

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    You do have to decide for yourself, no one can make up your mind for you, but if you know, then you know, are you really gonna subject yourself to being unhappy for someone else's piece of mind?
     
    #38 LostAndAffraid, Apr 17, 2014
  19. MyLittleWorld

    MyLittleWorld
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    Maybe I could be happy?
     
    #39 MyLittleWorld, Apr 17, 2014
  20. MyLittleWorld

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    I feel like I will sacrifice and stay with him because really everytime I bring out this topic he starts to cry...
     
    #40 MyLittleWorld, Apr 17, 2014
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