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I've got it sooooo bad! Make it stop!

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RJay, Jun 18, 2017.

  1. RJay

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    I know, no worries at all. This is the thing I've been thinking all along so I don't mind hearing you say it.

    My only glimmer of hope here is that I've read a lot about girls in their 20s having this stuff happen and go down very badly. But there seems to be a trend of women in their 40s having this happen and it being the real thing. Especially if these women have had bad marriages and been generally mistreated by men.
     
  2. Soundofmusic

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    Well, I hope that's the case for you!

    And sucks to hear this is common in my 20s. I'll be 30 soon. Hope those are better haha
     
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  3. NeonSocks

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    IMAG0468_1.jpg
    Just for laughs....this is the last picture of my footwear that I sent to a woman. My sister was very impressed with my new look.... :slight_smile:

    @RJay let that serve as inspiration to send V doc martin pics.
     
  4. silverhalo

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    Haha epic, nice look.
     
  5. NeonSocks

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    Hahaha, yeah fishing waders aren't really my thing but I needed them for volunteer work I am involved with. They also have some very stylish suspenders to really pull the outfit together.
     
  6. DayByDay

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    Hey Rjay!

    I literally just went through and read basically everything in this thread! This is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen! I wasn't having the best day and this just made me smile.

    Also, I totally think you should have send V a picture of you in your Doc Martens.
     
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  7. silverhalo

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    You have hired extra security to fend off the girls queuing at your door right?
     
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  8. NeonSocks

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    Haha, I mean that was pretty much a given. Who can resist a girl that smells of stale river water and looks so fetching wading in the muck? It's a curse.
     
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  9. silverhalo

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    It's like a match made in heaven.
     
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  10. Hushhh

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    Wow I read all pages(quite guilty of skipping a lot of replies To get the latest updates though )

    This thread had me smiling, grinning, chuckling, frowning, etc.

    I'm your fan rjay, and all the lead supporting roles. I must say this is such a roller coaster thread. A lot of insights.
     
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  11. RJay

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    Ugh, I am PINING!!! I'm out of town, having a great time with old friends, but she's still on my mind 24/7. Can't shake it off even a little! ARGHHHHHHHHHH.
     
  12. Moonsparkle

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    RJay is this your Maine vacation? You have friends there (and drinks!), beaches, OUTLETS*---sooo much to distract you! Sigh...of course nothing can ever distract us from the thoughts in our minds!

    Still, it must be good to get away, change of scenery and all. I hope you are able to share the story of you and V with your friends!

    *Outlets are to buy stuff for YOU, that make you feel good! Resist the urge to splurge on gifts of sexy black sling-back high heels for V:grinning: Besides, he has enough of those now. :wink:
     
  13. RJay

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    I've been in New Hampshire a few days. Heading up to Maine today for another few days. :slight_smile:

    Have talked at length to my friend here about the V situation. She is firmly in the camp that I should make a big play. She thinks there is a strong chance that V is enjoying the attention but will not go any further, but she says I need to know, and I need to prioritize my own needs and desires for a change. She says it can't hurt someone to love them intensely, so V will be OK, and I just have to work on being OK myself. It's a type of attitude I am supremely not used to!
     
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  14. silverhalo

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    Your friend sounds like she gives good advice :slight_smile:
     
  15. Orchidea123

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    Your friend sounds very rational - well said and well justified advice.
    As a reader of your thread I have no doubt some day all will be revealed to V. The question is when and how?

    Your friend's words make this look so easy and logical, and maybe it is easy. Whatever you decide will be best for you, no doubt.

    I have my own perspective on to tell or not to tell, and when to tell if so.
    Everyone's story is different.

    As simple as it is, its a big step and you can't undo it regardless of its outcome.
    So, I would not influence your Decision.
    Meaning I'll stop elaborating for now.:slight_smile:
     
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  16. silverhalo

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    Haha what a tease
     
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  17. Orchidea123

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    This is just a thought.. When any of you dating in the past - did you reveal your true feelings before dating for a while? It only happened to me when the guy and I were ready to be in committed exclusive relationship, and only then hinting about love works and feeds the romantic side of relationship.

    When it comes to feelings and attraction while in friendship with a woman, there is this need to open up. That's where all the questions begin. The timing, how much to say, what do I get out of it etc.

    Honestly, I don't think hetero dating/sequence of events version is that bad. It was also a guessing game till both want to date exclusively and commit. Not really a game, because there are many other ways to show appreciation for someone rather than being blunt.

    Spilling out feelings before getting into romantic dating mode may scare them away.
    Do you think it may be the same with women? We are all human beings after all.
     
    #637 Orchidea123, Aug 19, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2017
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  18. Orchidea123

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    Ok, teased for a few minutes.. and then my next post lol
     
  19. silverhalo

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    I think it entirely depends on the situation, I am not sure there is a one size fits all approach that can be taken. I don't really have much experience in this area because I have only ever dated my girlfriend, I met her on EC (unintentionally, not that I'm complaining). We were chatting in a friendly way, I guessed we talked quite a lot but I chat to a lot of people on here. Then we started talking off the site as well and then eventually she said she wanted to meet me, I was really shocked, it wasn't that I didn't like her but I just didn't really imagine it growing in that way. We met and once we had met it was clear we wanted to be in a committed relationship and then pretty much everything was laid on the table, but then we already knew each other quite well and we knew we were both gay etc.

    In a scenario where you are friends first I imagine someone has to spill the beans so to speak because otherwise even if you both like each other you might just be both holding back and nothing might ever happen.
     
  20. idsm

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    Ok, I can't keep my mouth shut! I may be TOTALLY wrong, but I need and (mostly) I want to give my opinion! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    As much as I agree with your friend that a) V quite possibly just wants the attention and b) you need to know and most importantly you need to do what is best for you, I think that in order to maximize your chances of a positive outcome you shouldn't rush things and dramatically confess your undying love for her, all while asking her to be eternally yours. ( :heart_eyes:, I know, but tame that romantic novel lover in you for now)

    She has barely started giving some positive signs back to you. Just...let it brew.
    "All good things come to those who can wait.." (completely irrelevant situation, but the lyrics work)

    :slight_smile:

    PS. When are you all getting back? I heard schools in the USA start pretty early?
     
    #640 idsm, Aug 19, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2017
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