I've got it sooooo bad! Make it stop!

I'm really glad your prioritizing yourself. I think with all the changes to our lives with coming to terms with our sexuality, it's really easy to just try to "hang on" during the emotional roller coaster and be passive. Good for you for talking more with her and letting her in on how you've been dealing with everything.

I think you have a good way forward and I'm glad you have such wise sounding boards in your brother and other friend. It's always right to approach things from an honest place even if it's hard. That's something I have to keep reminding myself too! I hope the next month until the beach get a way slows down a bit for you emotionally. It's been quite a ride and I'm glad you've shared it with us.

I think you're handling everything so well. There's so many big feelings to manage. I'm so proud of you!

 

Yes, I agree with leb10 - you've handled everything so beautifully, and have done so with so much courage and grace under pressure. It sounds as if you've learned some important insights about yourself, and that's always good. It's also obvious that you have loads of love to give someone - what a great gift that'll be for the right person, whether that's V, or someone else. All the best!!

 

Yes that does sound like a good story especially as they had a happy ending.

I think the hardest things about admitting your feelings are that if it doesn't go your way it shatters any slim hopes of a happy ending you may have so it's easy to not want to take that risk even though holding onto slim hopes is not always a good thing. The other issue is about vulnerability you worry that she will freak out if you tell her but I think you are right if she really is a true friend she should want to work through it with with.
I think you are being very sensible about not wanting to get run down as that isn't going to help anyone. I'm not sure experience with women would necessarily help you admit attraction to a friend unless you have been in that exact situation before. If you want to tell her I know you have it in you.

 

I'm wondering if by you simply opening up more in the park it provided an opportunity for V to first off know you more, but also for HER to be an even better friend to you by focusing on you and your issues, perhaps getting out of own head for a bit. Her texts after show she was reflecting back on the conversation, and that it impacted her understanding of what you are going through with all of your own changes. Very sweet texts too.

Just added TIG to my netflix lineup! Because yeah, this Tig does sound like a Badass !! (In a 'no apologies for my feelings, I just need to do what I need to do to take care of me,' way.)

This for sure would be a really hard thing to do. But there's no doubt if it gets to the point where you need to have this conversation-- you will make it through! Therefore I would say you have a little 'Tig Badass' in you too.

 

Rjay, I think that's interesting that V says she doesn't think men can meet her emotional needs. I'm not sure if many straight women would say that? Interested to hear others thoughts. I identify as bisexual and looking back on some (although not all) of my relationships/hook ups with men there has definitely been a lack of emotional intimacy and my emotional needs weren't always met even though there was a sexual attraction. Wheres as with women it has always been so emotional for me.

I totally admire your honesty with V and how well you have handled the situation. I agree with others that as you have become close friends and if you do decide at some point in the future to tell her your feelings then if she is your true friend you will find a way to deal with it. I still think there is a possibility she may reciprocate your feelings though, she may not even have realised it yet as she has so much else going on in her life.

The Netflix documentary sounds interesting, I must give it a watch. It also makes me think of this story, an author who realised she was in love with her best friend of 15 years after she was diagnosed with cancer https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...ilbert-and-the-rise-of-later-in-life-lesbians

 

RJay I don't know how you remain so positive in this. I'm struggling today because my friend have been communicating everyday for about 6 weeks by email and text. (We live about an hour apart and have seen each other a few times) I have it bad for her and she knows it. So everything was fine yesterday, I emailed her last night and got a quick response that said she would email me tomorrow because she was busy. So this morning I sent her a quick text (we both do that routinely) but she did not respond. I usually hear from her in the evenings and it's killing me not to text or email again before that just to find out what is going on or if I should wait to see if she contacts me. I'm sure a lot of the way I'm feeling has to do with my own insecurities. How do you remain so positive, my emotions are at an all time high, I can't stop thinking about her.

 

You got it bad too huh?

I know it's really tough not to get worried and insecure especially when you really like someone but at the moment I don't think you need to worry. If she was looking to avoid contact she wouldn't have bothered sending the quick reply she would have just waited and then said she was busy most likely, I know it's tempting to text or email again but I think you should just sit it out a little longer I am sure she will employ once she has finished whatever Shen was busy doing. In the meantime talk to us here on EC to keep yourself busy .

 

O

Oh ya, I've got it really bad for her. She is all I think about.s

Saying I have it bad for her is probably an understatement. Lol. She is on my mind all day, she is the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I think I am a bit more of a conversationalist and texter than she is and I'm trying to keep that in mind. But it is so hard.

 

It is hard, I was much more of a texted than my girlfriend when we first got together so I feel your pain. I a, sure she is enjoying how much you want to talk to her though .

 

Because when you have it that bad, it doesn't really matter what they say most of the time, you can make it seem like a good thing.

 

It does seem unbearable to me RJay. Like I said, she's not big on the texting and emailing but I could go on forever. When we are together does talk, but seems very shy. I think it's kind of cute. Here's the thing, even though she says she's known for a while (about 10 to 12 years) that she was attracted to women and not men she doesn't quite know what to make of the attention I am paying to her. When I told her I thought she was very attractive her response was that she wasn't used to anyone saying anything nice like that to her and she wasn't sure how to respond. The last time anyone said that to her it was a man and it didn't mean anything to her but me saying it seemed different. I told her just to enjoy how she is feeling and we will just take things slow and get to know one another. But on the inside I'm like holy cow can't you see how into you I am let's get this moving! Lol

 

This sounds like the beginning of something really lovely, that what you're saying to her is precisely what she needs to hear, to feel accepted and appreciated and attractive. All the best!!

 

Because everyone wants a happy ending

 

RJay I want a happy ending for you and me! Lol

 

My therapist isn't like that. She helps me though my thoughts and emotions but she has never "gotten my hopes up". Quite honestly I think it's a little strange for her to say things to you about V since she only knows you. As a professional she shouldn't be doing that. Just my thoughts.