I’ve been struggling with my gender identity for a while, I’m 19 and have been seriously questioning things for the past one or two years (although I’ve begun to realize I have never been comfortable as a girl). I’ve only ever came out to one person, my favorite teacher back in HS, and he was really accepting. I was still in a fairly deep stance of denial, though, so I pushed it down my first year of college and did my best to play the part of a girl. I’m not sure if that possible anymore. Some background- I was raised deeply catholic and in a conservative area. My father is transphobic and homophobic, particularly to mlm. As a bi person, this has always really hurt me and affected my journey with my sexuality and gender. My (lesbian) younger sister is bothered by it too, but insists he will come around and be there whenever she comes out to him/gets married. I only live with my sister and mother, who knows my sister and I are queer and is fine with it, though. I’m not sure how my mom would react to me being trans, or if her and my sister maybe already know. I honestly had no concept of gender as a kid, having both masc and fem hobbies, and lived a pretty sheltered life. The fist time I ever learned about trans people was high school. One of my closest friends was non-binary, and meeting them and other LGBT people lead me down an internet research rabbit hole. I followed trans youtubers and spent a lot of time watching their videos as a comfort measure. Reading and listening to trans guys stories made me realize I relate to their experiences a bit too much. I had some late nights googling things like “am I trans?” and about a week ago I had one of those rough nights and finally came to terms with being a trans guy. I've almost always had short hair, and am able to buy men’s clothes, so that’s helped my dysphoria a lot throughout the years. I recently bought a chest compression thing (not a binder, I wish) and have been using it all summer which has helped too. I’m planning on coming out to my therapist next week, and then hopefully my sister soon after that. I’m just worried that she has seen me as her sister for so long that she won’t be able to see me as her brother. She’s jokingly said she knows everything about me before, so if she doesn’t know then I’m afraid she may not completely believe me. -Wes
Good luck on that! I hope you find a way to tell your mother and sister. I am so glad they will be accepting. I’m sorry about your father tho:
It can take time for some people to accept things, especially in the case of changing from daughter to son, from sister to brother, but sometimes time is all they need. Good luck; I hope things go well!
